Planet Of Guys
by Queen Sapphire
Summary: It's the year 3000 and Earth is in danger! Planet Venus is calling war on Planet Earth as Tsunade sends Sakura out for a mission: Make alliance to the planet Jupiter which is full of guys! Sakura didn't even know. Will love triangles stop forming into pentagons or hexagons? Is she screwed? What's behind Sakura's past? Oh boy! She's in for a bumpy ride! SAKUMULTI MULTISAKU SAKUXMA
1. The Mission

Planet of Guys

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN NARUTO!

Italics:

_Thoughts/dreams or flash back_

'**Hi.': Inner or demons**

Earth, Konoha Lab. Year 3000, 6:00 A.M

"You're kidding me, right?" A petite girl said. She has natural cherry blossom hair, heart shape face, pale and flawless skin and who would forget her rosy pouty lips. Her viridian eyes were cold, long pink eye lashes and her body has all the right curves. Her body she claimed has D-cupped, flat stomach and long legs. She was beautiful. A natural beauty she is.

"Sakura, you know our planet, Earth is too weak against to Queen Karin of Venus. We need to alliance with planet, Jupiter. We don't have any choice but to make a treaty for them." Tsunade stated, seriously.

Currently, Earth is having a war with Venus, Earth's twin. Queen Karin and Princess Ino were mad at Tsunade, Queen of Earth, because Earth didn't Imported their stuff. (Lip gloss, Make- up and such girly- things.)

"Tsunade, there's no way in seven- hells will I- ."

"Sakura, this is very important! Or else those snobby wenches will destroy our god- damn planet!"

There was one long awkward silence until…

"No." Sakura said bluntly.

_Holy Christ! This girl is so cold!_ Tsunade thought. "Or else,"

"Or else, what?"

"Or else, Jiraiya will post you as the model of the new Icha Icha Paradise."

One long quite silent….

"You wouldn't dare."

"We both know I would, Sakura."

Once again, a long threatening silence…

"Fine…" Sakura muttered.

"YAY! Sakura's going to Jupiter!" Tsunade was rejoicing her ass- off.

"Evil old wench." Sakura murmured.

"Come on, Sakura were going to the Leaf X!" Tsunade exclaimed as she pointed at the mini- black jet. "Sakura, when you open this glass," Tsunade pointed the glass. "Inside of it have adequate oxygen for the like eternity." The busty blonde woman said, "It can only fit two people inside there. And you have an enough food to survive."

"….." Sakura said nothing.

"Oh and here's your suit, it's not those weird ass- white marshmallow suits, I got you much **sexier**." She said. She handed her it.

_I hope not that slutty outfit._

**Hun, this ****the**** Tsunade were talking about here.**

_Ugh! Remember my 15__th__ birthday party?_

**I was laughing my freaking ass- off there!** Then her Inner put a picture in her mind…

_AUGH! STOP! I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER THAT, AGAIN!_

The pink- haired vixen then stormed off to the changing room.

_I hope she's not too angry with the suit._ Tsunade thought.

~~~~After a hour later~~~~

"Sakura, come on! 15 seconds left!" Tsunade yelled.

Sakura came out the changing room. Tsunade saw her god- daughter's appearance: Sakura's hair was tied up into a high pony tail. She was wearing black leather jacket, tight leggings (up to her toes.), wearing black high-heeled boots and her black biker helmet. (That includes: Signal, scanning and such useful things were built in the helmet. That was invented by Sakura.) It was on her hands. A necklace that looked like a gem, Tsunade gave it to her. It was an aqua- ish and a little hint of ocean's color. Her aura was dark as night yet warm as the sun.

"I'm going to murder you some day." Sakura threatened her god- mother.

"Aww. I love you, too. Now hurry up!"

Sakura hurriedly got into the small space- ship. Locked her seat belt, she checked her engines and the Leaf X's status. Then she wore the helmet. She started the engine. She can hear it vibrating and felt it too. Smell of gasoline and smoke. She only needed her senses for this mission: See, smell, hear, taste and touch.

"Good luck, Sakura." Tsunade stated in her Black biker helmet.

"Yeah… Bye." Sakura whispered. She saw her god- mother swelled up into tears.

"**10." ** Her aunt Shizune said. Her eyes were puffy and her nose was red. She has been crying… Sakura slowly closed her eyes and heard…

"_Sakura, you're a disgrace of the family!" _

"**9."**

"_Sakura… Why? Did you steal him from me? Why? I thought were friends. Why?"_

"**8."**

"_You, filthy child!"_

"**7."**

"_Sakura, why did you hurt, Anna?"_

"**6."**

"_Stop, lying! We know you punched her! Why did you do it?"_

"**5."**

"_Sakura, stop this nonsense!"_

"**4."**

_I didn't do it, please. Stop. I didn't do it._

"**3."**

_Mother and father, I'm trying my best. Please look at me._

"**2."**

_Please…_

"**1."**

Sakura slowly opened her cold viridian eyes but her eyes suddenly looked so sad…

"**Blast off!"**

_I'm not the weak girl anymore! _One tear escaped.

Sakura rapidly pull the trigger and the space- ship blasted off.

"Tsunade, did you tell her?"Shizune asked, desperately.

"….." Tsunade said nothing.

"You **did **tell her, right?"

_Sakura, I hope you'll come out alive!_ Tsunade thought, anxiously.

~~~~In space~~~~

"Sakura- San, what's your destination?" A male robotic voice came from the radio.

"Computer, take me to Jupiter." Sakura said.

"But, Sakura- San, that's a-."

"Did you hear what I said?" The pinkette demanded.

"Y- yes."

"Then, go!"

"Yes, m'am!" The computer followed his _hot _(The computer added.) master.

Sakura began closing her eyes….

"_Sakura- Chan~~." An ominously voice called her._

"_Sakura, don't be like that." She felt his cold hands roaming her body._

"_Sakura, you're so tense." The voice soothed in her ear. He began to nimble her ear. She felt his hot breathe on her long neck. "Sakura." He growled._

"S-stop!" She yelled as she woke up. She was trembling and sweating in such fear. Her hands were cold and her eyes were like a child who watched a horror movie. No, it's worse than a horror movie. Worse…

_Just a dream, just a nightmare. _

**Are you okay?**

_Yeah, I'm just peachy. I think._

She saw the Leaf X's status: Gas: Perfect. Engines: Perfect. Missiles: 100/100. Damage: None. Destination: Jupiter. Kilometers away: 1,003 km. Day: Monday. Time: 10:48 A.M. Days left to reach the destination: 4 more days.

Now, she looked at the radar. She saw a blue triangle (that's her) and two red triangles (ENEMIES) behind her.

"SHIT!" She swore. As she got hold of her wheel (it's more like those non- wheel handles) and she's ready to attack.

_This is going to be a bumpy ride!_

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	2. Attacks, Jupiter and a NARUTO?

Planet of Guys

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN NARUTO!

Italics:

_Thoughts/dreams or flash back_

'**Hi.': Inner or demons**

_Talking (in the transmitter)_

Sakura's P.O.V

Space, to Jupiter. Year 3000, 10:49 A.M

_SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! _I was swearing me ass-off as the outside I remained my calm façade.

**I can freaking hear, you!**

_Sorry but you're not helping here!_

Okay, there are two space ships. Their ships were black with red clouds all around it. It appears the pilots were men,

_Kami-sama, really?_

"Computer, Name their status." I ordered.

"As you wish, Sakura-san." The computer obeyed as he burst out, much information about my attackers. The information he searched were in front of my face.

"So?"

"They're appears to be Jupiterans. At your left side, that's Hidan Yugare. His known for his immortality. He's one of Jashin's loyal disciples. Jashin is a god worshipped Jashinism, just brings nothing less than utter destruction and death. Jashin's power/s: Curse Technique: Death Controlling Possessed Blood (skin turns black and white markings that represent as a skeleton.) and if successful of this technique, which makes Hidan immortal. And he says "Pain brings him pleasure." The religion incudes: sacrificing people and Jashin ritual.

"Masochist…" I muttered, "Appearance?"

"Hidan has medium length silver hair slicked back with distinctive purple eyes. He doesn't wear a shirt only his pants, he always brought his triple-bladed scythe and wore his Jashin amulet that is an upside down triangle with a circle around it. Personality: He's a foul-mouthed, ignorant and cocky yet always a flirt.

Skills: He's a very good in combat, excellent using his scythe, speed: 3.5. Stamina: 5. Strength: 4. Intelligence: 3."

"Good, the other one?"

"Kakuzu Yugare: He's Hidan's cousin despite their differences, their teamwork were almost flawless. They're also known as 'The Zombie Twins' because they could not die. He has four hearts.

Appearance: Dark-skinned, muscular man. He wore a dark blue mask for his mouth. His mouth was stitched together at the edges and he has long dark brown hair. His eyes have an unusual coloring: green irises, no pupils and red sclera. His entire body is covered with stitches and can be re-stitched, if one of his body part/s was dis-able. And apparently he wore dark green nail polish and he's cousin too. Personality: he's very greedy if it's involves money, miserly individual and sometimes he violent.

Skills: very good in combat, his intelligence (4.5) was not like his cousin but he's very good strategist, strength: 4. Speed: 4. Stamina: 4.5.

And he says "Money is everything."

"So, I'm dealing with a poty-mouth albino-Jahin loving man and a money-grubbing, selfish man?"I asked.

"Pretty, much."

_Seriously? _She thought as she pressed a '506' button.

~~~~ With Hidan and Kakuzu~~~~

_"Kakuzu, stop fucking around, you fugly asshole!" _Hidan yelled through his transmitter, "_Over_." 

"_I can't! That person is either put a magnet force on me or a severe damgage!" _Kakuzu yelled at his cousin, _"Over."_

_Damn! Who's this person? _Kakuzu gritted his teeth.

_"Fuck! I'll do this, by myself!" _Hidan began attacking his enemy.

_Jashin-sama, please give me a 'good kill'._

~~~~With Sakura~~~~

"FUCK!" I yelled. That freaking albino guy just attacked me.

_Freaking motherfucker._ I clenched my fist.

**A freaking ****hot**** motherfucker.** I rolled my eyes.

"That's it!" I gripped my jet-like handle and pulled it. _Time for missiles! _

I pushed the two red buttons with my thumbs.

**Zap!**

**Zap!**

**Zap!**

I grinned like a mad man as I saw both of them groaned in agony. Hidan saw me… Uh-oh.

"Nice…" Hidan mouthed at me. He was scanning my fucking body… I think his cousin… Blushed?

_Holy Jalapeno! _I thought, _time to go!_

** Aaww...But Sakura!** I rolled my eyes at my Inner.

I saw Kakuzu and I raised my thin pink eyebrow. Then my jaw was open wide.

_Oh, Kami-Sama did he just did what I think it is?_

_Did he wink at me?_

I randomly wink back at him. He's now blushing like crazy. Thank god I'm still wearing my black biker helmet. _Why did I do that? _I shrugged.

"Computer, full speed to planet Jupiter!" I ordered him. He obeyed. We went full speed. Like lightning. Faster than an extra ordinary cheetah.

I looked at my radar, they were still following me.

Hidan at my left side and Kakuzu at my right side. They were trying to catch up with me.

But I was faster…

**Crimsonflower116 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Space, I think almost on Jupiter. Year 3000, 5:30 P.M (I think).

"Augh.." I groaned.

_Damn, ouch._

** Hello to you too, Ms. Sleepyhead.**

_ I'm having a god-damn head ache here!_

I straighten my back and I looked at my sides. They're not there anymore.

"Computer, location?" I asked.

"Well, Sakura-San, you're on Jupiter because we were in full speed that it reduced the days and the kilometers to go to Jupiter."

"That's good. Computer?"

"Yes?"

"Do you have any useful information about this planet?" I asked as I saw my surroundings. We were in a forest except the trees here is kind of yellow-ish and orange-ish.

"Yes, I do. Planet Jupiter is famous for girls because-"

"Wait, famous for what? Because I never heard anything special in this humongous planet."

"It's known as a guy's planet."

"So?" I was bored. I took a cherry lollipop from my pocket and started licking it.

"It means this a harem of boys."

One awkward silence was occurred…

I burst out, laughing. I WAS LAUGHING MY FREAKING ASS-OFF!

"Ha, ha! That's a good one."

"…" When he was silent, I almost dropped my lollipop. He was serious.

"Are you joking, please you're joking?"

_PLEASE KAMI-SAMA! PLEASE I DON'T WANT THIS! I BEG_

"I'm not joking, Sakura-San."

_ SCREW YOU, KAMI-SAMA! _

"…." I sighed. "Whatever."

"I'm glad, you understand, Sakura-San."

"Yeah, yeah." I noticed something. Did that bush just move? I went out of the Leaf X; I locked the space ship with my special gem as I was done. I was squinted my eyes and finally saw the culprit.

"Hello, there!" The loud obnoxious blonde boy greeted, loudly. He has tanned skin with whiskers. Cerulean eyes, muscular and he was 3 inches taller than me. I was like 6 feet and he's 6 and a half feet.

"Welcome to Jupiter!" He yelled, "I'm Naruto Uzumaki, by the way." He reached his hand out.

"Sakura Haruno." I greeted and shook his large hands.

"That's a weird name for a boy."

"Because, I'm not a boy." I said bluntly.

…...

"WHAT?" He yelled as loud as thunder.

"Quite down, Uzumaki-San! KAMI-SAMA PROBALY HEARD YOU FROM THE HEAVENS!"

"Why? How? Where?" He asked me.

"What do you mean how and why?"

"Normally, the Akatsuki will kill you, now. And why are you here?"

"I came to gave King Pein Amegakure a treaty from Earth."

"So you're from Earth?"

"Yes?"

"So you want to give Jupiter a treaty, why?"

"Earth is currently having a war with Venus, Earth is too weak to fight Venus and we need more people."

"What?"

_Is he really that dumb?_

__**Yeah, a handsome one, too**

_Quite!_

"My planet need to your planet's alliance."

"Oh, okay! I'm going to call my big brother."

"And who's that?"

"Pein."

I was silent. I have two choices: Kill him or follow him?

_Which one I'll choose, Inner?_

** ….. Naruto.**

_Yes! Finally, you're going to be more serious in this stupid mission!_

** …..**

_ Inner?_

** …**

_ INNER!_

** What-t? Oh, sorry! I was busy looking Naruto's bare chest.** I heard Inner sighed as I again, rolled my eyes.

"Sakura- Chan!" The blonde man yelled.

"Hmm?" I hummed.

"Good news! Pein's free at 6:00 P.M!" Naruto exclaimed, "Oh and wear this robe." He said as I saw a black robe. It was like a wizard robe: Long (up to the ground) baggy and black. All my favorite style of clothes!

"But why?" I asked. We began to walk as I slowly put my robe over my clothes and I'm not going to take my helmet off because I don't know if it's good for me or not.

"Because, all guys in the planet are sex-deprived pervert even the ones you thought is friendly but the inside their perverts." He said, seriously.

"Then you're a pervert too, Uzumaki-San" I began walking fast. _Men are all perverts. That's why I never trusted them… From that day, I finally realized that men are cannot be trusted. They are just going to break your heart, brutally._

"Sakura-Chan! I'm not a pervert but my senseis are!"

"Whatever."

We were finally at the markets. I saw many drunken men and vendors, and then I saw something….

We went to this store it was very elegant, a smell. It smells like tea. _Hmmm…_

My stomach grumbled…

Naruto was laughing on the ground. I glared at him.

"Sorry, S-sakura- Ch-han.." He tried to hold his laughter but failed miserly.

** Bam!**

I smacked him at the back of his head.

"Ouch, you didn't need to do that!" Naruto whined. I smiled underneath my black Biker helmet. Well he can't see my face. I sighed I never smiled like this before…it's so heart-warming.

"Yeah, so can we go inside the Tea house?"

"Sure, Sakura-Chan! Oh and don't worry about your gender, I'll keep it a secret." He put his pointing finger in front of his lips and winked at me.

As I entered, I saw a feminine face with long dark brown hair and he/she smiled at me.

"Good afternoon, Naruto."

"Good afternoon, Haku!" The 'Haku' kid noticed me.

"Naruto, who's this?"

"Oh that's, Sakura!" He said with food in his mouth. I think some of it spitted on the table…. Yeesh.

"Hello, Sakura-San. I'm Haku Momochi, I'm the brother of Zabuza Momochi, Demon of the Mist." Haku said, "And I'm a boy."

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	3. More suspects

Planet of Guys

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN NARUTO!

Italics:

_Thoughts/dreams or flash back_

'**Hi.': Inner or demons**

_Talking (in the transmitter)_

Sakura's P.O.V

Jupiter, the tea house. Year 3000, 5: 39 P.M

"Umm, are you a boy?" I hesitantly asked,

_I don't want to offend him._

**Yeah, he's hot.**

_ Really, Inner?_

** What? Look at his abs! He got like a six-pack and Naruto too! This so worth it! Hot, handsome men wearing baggy clothes that can see through it, oh~~**

_Are you having an orgasm, something?_

"Yeah, and don't worry about it." Haku smiled gently at me.

"Thank goodness." I sighed.

_Inner, information about Haku, please._ I remembered how Inner has a special ability to find much information about any person you want to search on, when I got her. I don't know how she does it.

** Well, he has long dark brown hair, hazel brown eyes. He has a special ability of ice, very excellent at swords and he's really good at combat.**

**He has a potential ability of a spy. Good at disguising. He's like a hot spy. **Inner stated in glee.

_ I still don't know how you freaking do that._ I thought.

"Sakura, what a weird name for a boy." This is more like de javu all over again.

"Because Sakura-Chan is a-hmmph!" Naruto didn't said the last part as I stuffed his mouth with dumplings.

"My parents were expecting a girl." I tried to reason him with my lie.

"Oh, I get it." Haku agreed with me. I sighed in relief then I gave Naruto a death glare. Well he can't see my eyes but he can feel the tension, a scary tension that made any babies cry in fear.

"Sorry, Sakura-Chan." He whispered to my ear. I can feel his hot breath in my ear, his nostrils were breathing on my neck. I was not blushing or anything like a school girl do if a man did any sexual gestures. I was used to this. _Men and their sex needs. Just sex they wanted. Just sex, nothing more special. No relationship, just sex. That's all. _My eyes darkened.

"Sakura, may I speak to you?" Haku asked as I saw a white hair in at the next counter.

"Hey, sexy lady." He said to me, he was rummaging my body. He has white hair with a light-blue tint in it, purple eyes, he got a huge sword wrapped on his back and he grinned at me, a sharky grin I per say.

"Suigetsu! Stop clowning around!" A male voice yelled. He was very tall with pale skin, short spiky black hair and small eye brows. He's noticeable muscular.

"Zabuza!" Haku yelled. _Oh, his Zabuza!_

"Haku-oh, hello there." Zabuza said politely.

**Man, Zabuza and that Suigetsu are so hot! **I was trying not to roll my eyes.

"Sakura-San this is my older brother, Zabuza." Haku said. "And Zabuza this is Sakura-San, Naruto's friend."

"Pleasure to meet you," Zabuza shook my hand.

"Me too."

"Hmm, what a weird name." _Really? Kami-Sama? Okay, I thought Naruto is the only one knows my gender. But, two suspects? Really, do you really love me Kami-Sama?_

"Umm, Sakura-San? Talk. Now." Haku stated. I followed him in the janitor's closet. It was very dim and I can smell acid of cleaning tools.

"So?"

"So, what?" I raised my brow.

"Are you really a **boy**?" I gulped; I can feel the aura of seriousness from him. He pinned me on the wall, he was gripping my wrists, were so close like an inch away.

"Yes." Thank god, I didn't stutter.

"Don't lie."

"I'm not."

"Just don't lie because I need to know. Or else, they'll know first."

"Who's they?" I had no idea who's they and the Akatsuki, Naruto mentioned.

"Stop changing the subject!" He snapped like Tsunade without her sake. On her period…

Okay, I either seduce him or let him keep snapping at me until I tell the truth.

_Which one?_

** You need to complete the mission!**

_ Yeah, no._

** Aaww, why not?**

I ignore my sex-deprived Inner.

"ANSWER!"

Yeah, I'll rather go at the second choice because I'm not seducing him.

I mentally sighed.

"If you don't answer I'll-" He got cutoff by a loud crash. He was now, pinned me on the floor, I can hear his heavy breathing on my neck.

"I'll **make** you, too." He purred.

"Wha-" He suddenly rub his hands on my thigh.

"I told you answer if you don't want this."

My eyes were unfocused. I remembered**them.**

_"Sakura, you looked so beautiful in _**red**_." My blood was on their filthy hands. They did this to me. I thought I was a _**good girl**_? But they said I was a bad girl. So they punished me, severely. Broken bones. Depress and so much pain in my heart…._

_ "Sakura-Chan, you'll enjoy this."_

_ "Sakura..."_

_ "Sakura…"_

I was horrified but then a loud knock was heard from the door.

They opened the door. It was Suigetsu and Zabuza. Weird, their eyes were so….so possessive and anger.

"Naruto, told us." Suigetsu stated. No toothy grin. Nothing, he was I think serious.

"He told you what?" Haku asked. He got off me.

"That guy over there," He pointed at me. "Is a fucking girl!" Suigetsu growled.

"So you're a girl, huh?" He has a wild look: Messy brown hair, sharp black eyes with vertical slit-like pupils, pronounced canine fangs, distinct red famg markings on his cheeks and tanned skin. And a cute yet large dog besides him, light brown ears, white scruffy fur and its tail was in a curve.

He was grinning at me.

"KIBA! Stay out of this!" Zabuza yelled.

"Why? Her body is H.O.T!" He was still grinning at me.

"Um…" I squeaked.

"Hello, I'm Kiba and I have a question for you."

"What is it?"

"Are you a virgin?"

**Crimsonflower116~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

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	4. The Crash And The Guys

Planet of Guys

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN NARUTO! AND THE SOME OF THE INFORMATION OF THE CHARACTERS (narutopedia), SO DON'T SUE ME! AND THE PREVIOUS CHAPTERS TOO!

Italics:

_Thoughts/dreams or flash back_

'**Hi.': Inner, demons OR Zetsu's black side**

_Talking (in the transmitter)_

Sakura's P.O.V

In Jupiter, inside the tea house's closet. Year 3000, 5:51 P.M

_HELL, NO! _I was practically yelling inside my mind. I was currently surrounded by (**hot**) guys and Naruto mentioned that all the men are sex-deprived pervert. So he's question was…

"Are you a virgin?" This Kiba dude just asked.

"No." I said bluntly.

"So you're taken? Aww." He whined.

"Taken, my ass…" I muttered.

"Yup, my heart got taken by your well shaped-ass." He proclaimed.

"Pervert…Where's Naruto?"

"You, called?" Naruto suddenly appeared in front of the scene.

"Can you help me up and it's almost time to go to the meetin, by the way." I stated.

"No-Oh yeah! Sorry and I'm sorry I told them that you're a girl!"

I sighed, I'm sighing a lot lately.

"You're leaving? No fair! I didn't got a little time for ourselves." He wiggled his brows and he was staring at me like a piece of meat.

"Yeah, Sakura." Surprisingly Zabuza said that. I raised my brow.

"I second that." Haku said that. My eyes were stunned.

"Third." Suigetsu grinned, now my jaw was dropped.

"Nope, sorry guys! Sakura is MINE!" Naruto proclaimed like a person who just won a lottery.

"Let's just go." I said.

"Follow me!" Naruto and I were walking to the "Orange massive forest" Naruto called it.

"BOSS!" A boy's voice yelled as he took off his orange bush disguise.

"Konohamaru, you failed! I already knew that was you!" He boasted.

"Oh, man!" He sulked but then he noticed me. "Boss, who's that?"

"Oh, this is Sakura!" _Kami, please, can he be louder?_

"Let's just GO!" I grabbed his ear and I literally dragged him to the Leaf X.

We were inside of the Leaf X,

"Buckle up." I said as I got my seat belt buckled. _Oh, yeah. I hope there's no rules of flying, very fast._

"Why-Ahh!" He yelled on the back seat as I was grinning like a mad man. We zoomed like Flash, fast like a cheetah; oh I was so going to take advantage of this.

"Can-n you slow down?" He stuttered.

"Yeah!" four voices were heard. Wait-what? Four voices?

"Suigetsu, Zabuza and Haku?" I yelled. I saw them with Naruto who is much squished in the middle.

"DON'T FORGET KIBA AND AKAMARU!" Kiba barked.

"Why are you four, here?" I screeched like a squeaky door.

"Were just curious." Haku purred like a cat.

"Fucking curious my motherfucking ass!" I yelled as loud as thunder.

"So?"

"SO? Leaf X can't take this so much-" I got cut off by a loud 'thrash'. I felt the engine died out. Oh-uh.

"PEOPLE!" I yelled the last part as we were going to crashed! My heart was pounding like crazy. My mouth was opened, it was going down. My sweaty hands were on the wheel, still. My body was rigid, I heard Naruto's prayers, Haku's yellings, Suigetsu cursing, Kiba and Zabuza's punches on the Leaf Z's window but failed, the Leaf Z is made from diamonds. I pulled the wheel up to get balance, it slipped. I was panting like marathon runner who just finished. I pulled the wheel once, again. The leather of the wheel was now, sweaty. I saw the ground at like 2 feet away. I shut my eyes closed and saw only darkness….

**~~~~In the Castle~~~~**

"Damn, this paper work. This dreaded paper work." A spiky orange haired male muttered. He has lots of piercings on his face: 6 piercings on his nose (3 on each side.), 2 on the bottom lips (1 on each side.), 8 ear piercings on each ear and 1 nail like piercing into his ear. (1 on each ear). He's the king.

He has majestic light purple ringed eyes. It was very majestic like a lion.

He was known as the 'leader' of a group, Akatsuki. And he's partner, Konan, who is a girl but the others didn't know. She got married with Yahiko and they moved to Saturn.

He has the Uzumaki's abilities, he's good at combat and his ringed eyes were called Rinnegan. He claimed himself as a god.

He sighed._ This is so boring. _First: paper work and second: Hidan and Kakuzu were babbling about an intruder in a black biker helmet. This day can't be anymore worse….

He was doing his paper work until….

** CRASH!**

_The fuck was that?_

The smoke-filled office was in almost in ruins, the floor was cracked like there was an earthquake. The paper work of his was (finally) in shreds, it was scattered on the floor. He was rejoicing but he saw his statue of himself was utterly destroyed in pieces, wait-his head was still intact and sighed in relief. Then the head come off….

_AAAHHHH! WHO IN THE FUCKING HELL DESTROYED MY STATUE? _He was screaming in the inside but he kept he's calm façade.

"Who dare to-" He got cut off when he almost tripped on something or someone.

He saw a black robe person with a helmet on, lying on the cracked floor.

Then he saw one of the rocks move,

** THACK!**

It was Zabuza and he was pulling Haku. Suigetsu sprung out and helping his little brother, Naruto.

Pein imminent sighed._ I didn't mean this! _

"Hey big bro!"

"Hey…."

"Can you call the all the Akatsuki, Sasuke-Teme, Kakashi-Sensei, Jirayai-Sensei, Orochimaru- Sensei, Neji, Shino, Shikamaru, Gaara, Kankuro, Shukaku, Kyuubi, Yamato-Taishou, Kabuto and Sai!" Naruto puffed out all the names in one breath.

"Wow and alright…." He weirdly obeyed as he called out the Akatsuki and the others he mentioned.

Then one by one, they were there. First was Akatsuki, second the senseis, Naruto'd friends and the two demons.

"What the fuck is this all about? I was not finished with my ritual and my sacrifice!" Hidan cursed.

"I was doing my art, un." A male said. He has slanted blue eyes and very long blond hair which it was a half pony tail and his left eye was not seen because his long blond hair covered it. His skin was slightly tan, appears has mouths on each of his hands. He's Deidara Iwa.

"You're art is not true art, Deidara." A short red haired male said. Wide hazel eyes and his body were made from wood and he's surprisingly alive and slightly tan. He's holding a puppet, he's a puppeteer. This man is named, Sasori Akasuna.

Deidara glared at his partner. Sasori glared back at him.

"Deidara-San and Sasori-San please, don'-. **Hmm, what's that scrumptious smell? Human blood, and it's not ours." **He's appearance was unusual: He has short green hair, golden eyes and his skin on left side were white and the right side was black. He has a two large venus fly-trap like extensions that envelop to his head to his upper body. He was like a plant.

"You're right, Zetsu!" An orange swirled mask chirped. He has short black hair and the mask of his has a right eyehole. He was pretty childish yet sometimes he can be serious.

"Tobi, be serious here." A huge shark like man said. He's very fair muscled and he's appearance is unusual too: Sharp triangular teeth, pale blue skin, small, round white eyes and he has gill-like facial markings under his eyes. Even though, he's like a demon shark, he was a kind man but he loves to fight with his Samehada. He's Kisame Hoshigaki.

"Kisame, you fool. Can you smell the blood?" A black haired man asked, he wore his hair into a low pony tail, he has dark eyes, he's skin was a slight darker and he has tear troughs under his eyes. He was fairly handsome, his name is Itachi Uchiha. The

Weird. Kakuzu didn't say anything. Even he didn't count his money!

"Aniki, we know that." The ebony, duck-butt shaped haired man. He has onyx eyes, pale skin, he's Itachi Uchiha's little brother, this man with a cold glare was Sasuke Uchiha. He and Itachi have similar appearance but they were kind of different. And he was the second in command knight.

"….." Shino Aburame. He has dark bushy brown hair, pale skin, he's very tall and he wears dark sunglasses. Shino is the animal/bugs researcher. He was holding a rare blue butterfly on his pointing finger.

A long coffee haired man, his hair was tied back a few inches above the end, pale, white eyes and he was silent. He's a professional knight. Neji Hyuga was slightly irritated of this sudden call.

"Kakashi! Please can I take a glimpse at the porn book?" It was Kankuro Sabaku he has black like cat suit and purple painting on his face. He was a pervert…

"Nope." A silver spiky haired man crinkled his right eye; he wore a dark blue mask. You can see his right eye but not the left eye because it was covered in his mask. Underneath the mask, his left eye has an old scar. Some women in Venus said he's a real sex god when it comes to bed. And they say his face was handsome. Kakashi Hatake is his name. He's the first in command knight.

A dark brown pineapple haired man slept through the whole thing. Shikamaru Nara has 200 IQ points; he's lazy but a good strategist in the battle field. He has narrow brown eyes and he's seemed to be tall. The strategist.

"Orochimaru-Sama, why are we here, again?" The grey haired apprentice sighed. He has black eyes and he kept he's hair into a pony tail. He's name is Kabuto Yakushi. He's the castle's second in command doctor and the apprentice of the head doctor, Orochimaru.

Orochimaru, the snake loving man. He has pale skin and he has (purple markings under his eyes) facial markings that represent a snake's like nature, waist-length black hair, he has amber eyes with slits in his pupils. He was known for his experiments.

Orochimaru sighed. "I had no idea."

A short brick-red haired man with a kanji tattoo on the left-side of his forehead was standing, quietly. He's eyes were sea foam green, he wears like eyeliner. He has pale skin and he has a gourd on his back. He was Gaara.

"**Kyuubi, why did you punch me?" **A tanned man with beautiful golden eyes, he's fairly tall. His teeth have one set sharp fangs. He has dirty blond hair with golden streaks.

"**Yeah, you idiotic Shukaku!"** A pale man with fiery red hair with black streaks, he's tall. And his teeth were like Shukaku's. His sclera was black and he has white irises.

"SHUT UP!" Naruto yelled.

That made everybody silent because when you saw a very, very loud Naruto, is not a good Naruto, even the Kyubbi shut up.

"Someone is here for you all." Haku stated as he coughed out blood.


	5. The Alliance And Her

Planet of Guys

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN NARUTO! AND THE SOME OF THE INFORMATION OF THE CHARACTERS (narutopedia), SO DON'T SUE ME! AND THE PREVIOUS CHAPTERS TOO!

Italics:

_Thoughts/dreams or flash back_

'**Hi.': Inner, demons OR Zetsu's black side**

_Talking (in the transmitter)_

Jupiter, King Pein's (ruined) throne. Year 3000, 6:05 P.M

"**Where is this person?" **The almighty Kyuubi asked in interest. He smelled blood, someone's blood.

"OH SHIT!" A familiar voice yelled from the (not destroyed) door, who was it?

"DON'T FREAKING YELL AT MY EAR, YOU NARU-TARD!"

"SORRY, SHITTY-SUIGETSU!" Yup, it was Suigetsu and Naruto's voices from the door until a loud…..

**THAWK!**

The door opened in a flash and there were the two idiots on the floor, groaning in pain and such agony.

"I'll try not to say what the hell….. What the hell?" A new voice said, a man with waist-length ebony spiky hair but a hint of blue in it. He was tall, fair-skinned and sinfully handsome. He has ruby eyes, Sharigan. Itachi, Sasuke and Tobi Uchiha possessed these eyes for battle field but for him he likes to put on his Sharigan all the time. He was the great Madara Uchiha. He's Itachi and Sasuke's uncle, Tobi's twin.

"Uncle, I thought you were training." Itachi said politely. He's uncle was the top knight. His abilities were almost flawless.

"I was until I got called to here." Madara said bluntly.

**CRACK!**

Suddenly the right walls were Pein kept his priceless antiques. It made a huge crack that looked 10 men attacked it.

_More bills, oh joy!_ Pein and Kakuzu thought the same. Pein sighed as he sit he's in one-piece throne.

"S-sakura, put-t the sw-word now-w!" Wait that voice was, none other the Demon of the Mist, Zabuza Momochi.

_Zabuza stuttered?_ All the guys were thinking the same thing.

"Umm…._She's_ here." Haku gulped. He was slightly scared. A mad Sakura is not a good a Sakura.

_She?_ Pein thought but the others thought the same thing.

**PACK!**

The door slammed open and they saw a petite form. _She _wore a black biker helmet, tight leggings, knee-high black boots with heels, black leather jacket and _she_ was wearing an aqua-ish gem-like amulet. They can see this is a girl because her _irresistible and sexy_ body of hers.

_Shit, men. Tch, is that the 'Zombie Twins'? Oh shit…_

** Men, so much hot and handsome men here. Oh my-**

_Don't you dare complete that sentence….Please don't._

** Geez, fine.**

King Pein was very amused, this girl who didn't demand for an engagement, usually women from different planets do that often, that's why he and Madara created 'Akatsuki' _and_ she broke his walls, antiques and his sculptures. Yes, he was very amused.

He noticed she coughed blood as she did a royal-kneeling for respect. He raised his pierced brow.

The whole gang was gaping at this _she._

"Kakuzu! The hot bitch!" The foul-mouthed Hidan pointed at Sakura. While he, again, rummaging her perfect body.

"No way…" Kakuzu muttered.

"King Pein of Jupiter," She said as she still kneeling for respect.

Pein cleared his throat, "Yes?"

"I am from the planet named Earth," Sakura was introducing herself to the king.

"Hmm… Interesting." He rubbed his chin in interest. He roamed her body, it was splendid, it's was _indeed splendid, indeed. _"State your reason." Pein informed as he snapped his thoughts.

"Very well then, Earth is currently having a _brutal_ war with planet Venus, Queen Karin and Princess Ino." She let few drops escaped; she remembered her love ones and her second-family. Her second-family was messed up… like her. They were perfect for her…

"So?" He said in a bored voice, Pein didn't give a damn about this-wait she clenched her fists. _This must be important._ He thought.

"We need your planet's alliance for this war." Sakura bit her lip, she felt pitied.

Pity is for fools.

She's no fool but her planet needs her…..

"Why is that? Because we're all men here? Our men are powerful? Do you take me as a fool?" He protested like a real king. "Tch. Women are weak without men."

Pein expect that Sakura will be sobbing and begging like any women do but Sakura stayed calm…

"You all women are sluts,"

_Strike one._

"If you suspect us to fall your seductions, were not! Women are fragile like you!"

_ Strike two._

"I bet your mother was a whore…like you."

_ Strike three,_

Something snapped in her body. Her past were all coming to her, all her beatings, all their laughs. It's their entire fault.

Sakura did the unthinkable….

_And you're, OUT!_

**BANG! CRASH!**

She did it…She really did it.

Sakura Haruno shot Pein's crown with her new handgun, she combined it with her new F116 gun and her AB66 gun. It was the powerful gun she ever held. Her bullets were impossible to copy, she made the bullets with gun powder and she mixed it with Tsunade's powerful, poisonous and acidic experiments. Sakura was an expert of guns and weapons.

Her movements were different from others; she was like in…Fire. A new level…

Pein widen his ringed eyes and he stared in shock. He startled a bit but he never in his life that a woman wanted to shoot him. This is a first.

"Listen, _king asshole. _I was okay with you insulting our species but…How dare you insult my mother without knowing who she is, sexist." Sakura muttered the last part but Pein heard it, he's eyes were wide open by shocked and the others too.

**"I am stunned."** Shukaku whispered to Kyuubi. **"Are you?" **He asked hisfriend/rival.

For the first time of Kyuubi's life, he was indeed speechless. No comebacks. No arguments. No insults. Kyuubi nodded in agreement.

Naruto likes his brother, Pein. He always defended him but this time was it was too much…

Gaara never did like the king but the king never got attacked before.

Sasuke and Itachi were in their calm façade but if you look closer their eyes were widen a little.

Hidan was grinning; he really never liked the king. They will always have pointless arguments after Hidan and Kakuzu's missions and their reports.

Kakuzu was indeed flabbergasted. A girl shot the king's crown. He may be listed that the number one unthinkable stunt. It's like hell just frozen.

Kisame and Suigetsu; their jaws dropped on the floor.

Tobi was speechless in his life.

Deidara and Sasori were not arguing about art but stared in shock.

Zetsu, for the first time of his life he was_ not_ hungry for flesh. Even the black side didn't want to eat flesh.

The two doctors were frozen, Orochimaru and Kabuto was stunned.

The Momochi brothers were shocked like the others but Zabuza was more shock than the others. No matter how much time he tried to attack the king, he failed. Haku and Zabuza were rebels.

Jiraiya and Kakashi, the two perverts. Jiraiya was smirking; _never underestimate a woman's anger._ He thought as he remembered the Earth Queen, Tsunade. They were like lovers but they were separated.

Kakashi _dropped his beloved Icha icha paradise._ Every knight tried to get the book but that took ages to do that!

Shikamaru Nara_ woke up._ He slept the other meetings but this time he's _awake._

Kankuro, the mini-pervert, he was _not checking _Sakura's body. This was serious.

And Kiba was speechless and Akamaru too.

The quiet ones were very stunned, Shino and Neji.

Yes, they were all stunned, indeed.

_Did she done that?_ Pein thought. He noticed she's panting like crazy, _why is she panting? Maybe that suit is too cramped. _Pein thought._ I must know who she is; she got guts to do that. Such courage in this girl's body…_

Pein clear his throat, "My apologies, I accept the alliance of Earth,"

Sakura's stomach did a somersault. _Thank you, Kami-Sama-_

"But on one condition…" Pein said as he looked at the intruder, Sakura.

The somersault stopped. "What is it?" Sakura was very irritated; she was so close yet so far…

"Take off your helmet…" Pein commanded as he watched in interest when Sakura flinched.

"What?" Sakura clenched her teeth and her fists. She did not need any more of this.

"You heard me, take it off." Pein grinned like a _very_ mad man. _This ought to be good._

"Or what? Sue me?" She questioned the king in an ill-manner voice.

"Or I'll break off the deal of the treaty we made for your planet."

She glared at Pein. He shivered his back.

Sakura middle-fingered Pein then he glared back.

They were having a glaring contest.

One silence was passed…

Sakura sighed in defeat,

"What's your answer and please this will be legitimate." Pein glared Sakura.

Sakura took a deep breath as the others lingered to hear her answer,

"Fine…." She muttered begrudgingly as she took of her helmet. They saw her face, not just a face; it was a face of an angel or a goddess. They couldn't decide. Her long wavy light-pink hair and her big viridian eyes were oddly perfect for her. The pinkette's heart-shape face was many girls were envied, cute-buttoned nose, rosy plump lips, long pink lashes, thin pink eyebrows and her milky white skin was all beautiful for her.

"Sakura-Chan?" Naruto asked. Sakura turned around to Naruto.

"Yeah?" Sakura's icy cold eyes narrowed at the window. _Something's not right here._

"Is that y-you?" Naruto stammered.

"Yes-" She trailed off by a huge thing was on her D-cupped breasts.

"Sakura-Chan is so cute! Pain can we keep her?" Naruto was snuggling her breasts like a teddy bear.

"Sorry, Naruto but-" Pein got cut off by a loud…

** THWACK! CRASH**

"Get off of her!" Kiba yelled as he smacked him with an almost broken antique spear. Kiba then snuggled her breasts.

**THWACK!**

"The heck was that?" A new voice said. He has waist-length white hair, pale skinned, light-ish vivid eyes and two red dots on his forehead. He was fairly tall and handsome too.

"Nothing, Kimimaro. Just nothing." Pein sighed yet he's eyes were lingering on the pink-haired vixen's huge breasts.

"Nothing my as-" He trailed off as he saw a beautiful pink-haired angel. His heart skipped a few beats. He never saw this creature before yet she managed his heart keep beating like crazy. _I think I'm in love with this magnificent creature._

"Wh-ho is she?" Kimimaro stuttered as he mentally slapped himself.

"I believed this girl is named Sakura, my brother mentioned." Pein said, "Girl, what's your name?"

"Sakura. Sakura Haruno."

Crimsonflower116: LIKE IT? REVIEW!


	6. A Little King's Time In Battle

Planet of Guys

* * *

><p>Jupiter: Pein's throne, Year 3000, 7:00 P.M<p>

**CRASH! CRASH! BANG! BANG!**

"What in the devil's name is that?" Madara muttered as he saw the large window, now in shards. The whole room was very foggy by some reason.

Sakura was in a battle stance. An odd battle stance, exactly. But she was a little irritated, well scratch that. She was very livid because Kiba is _still_ snuggling her huge breasts. While everybody felt the dark aura, which is coming from Sakura, ooh, no one messes her one of her private parts.

"Kiba, get the HELL off of my breasts! Now is not the time, you smelly rodent!" Sakura pried his huge arms.

"Aaaw, but your breasts are just perfect-wait, AAAHHH!" Kiba was now, _in_ the wall, literally. His butt was sticking out and his head was in the concrete wall. They looked at the huge crater, and saw Sakura's fist on the air. Figures…

"Remind me, not to anger Sakura…" Naruto murmured to Sasuke, who was rolling his onyx eyes.

"PAY ATTENTION, YOU INSUFRUABLE IMBECILES!" Pein shouted at the background. His face was bright as his spiky hair.

"Okay, _my highness_," Sakura mocked. Pein's glare hardened.

"Sakura, much I _love _your attitude right now," The pierced bastard playfully winked at her, "I think we should pay attention to the intruders right now? Right, _princess_?"

Sakura glared at him, her glare was very menace. She inhaled; she opened her rosy lips….

"Bite me…"

* * *

><p>Pein's P.O.V<p>

Never in my life, met such a rude girl; she insulted me_ and_ attacked me. I never, _never_, ever met this kind of a person in my whole life, but she's very interesting; if there's an award for rudeness, she'll definitely get the first prize, in no sweat. I'll giver credits for that.

I was going to say an insulting comeback, but when I saw her lips moved. Her rosy _kissable_- what I am saying? I am the king, for years my reputation was known for my calm façade and being a gentleman.

I mentally shook my head. I looked at her, again. Her hair was a mess, but it looks so-may I dare to say it, _so erotic_. I gulped, my neck was very warm.

_AUUGH! YOU'RE A GENTLEMAN! THIS WILL RUIN YOUR REPUTATION! _I scolded myself; I noticed her eyes were staring at me.

When I insulted her mother, her aura looked she was going to…cry. I wonder why, doesn't she have wonderful parents, like I do, before they passed away when I was 19 years-old. Does she even have a family? Does she love her mother that much? Does she like her mother than her very own father? Does she? My head was full of questions like that.

But, when I saw her the first time, my heart was pounding like crazy. So crazy that it can break through my ribcage. I was attracted to her, that's why. Yes, I was indeed attracted to her. I want to hold her, hug her, kiss her or _even_ love her. I want her for all for myself. _Mine_, I thought.

Her delicious lips moved….

"Bite me…"

That phrase hit me.

I looked over my throne. My knights and the others were, now fighting the intruders. They were too focused to them…and the room was foggy, it was very foggy that no one saw me and Sakura. They only saw the intruders because of the Uchiha's special skill, the Sharigan.

I grabbed Sakura's wrist, and I pushed her against the hard wall.

"Eek!-hmhpff!" Sakura squeaked like a timid _cute_ mouse. My lips smashed on her soft lips.

_Hmm, honey and cherries. Tasty…_ I thought in ecstasy. I grabbed her small waist and I pull her body to mines. I growled when her warm hands touched my skin.

I broke apart, I smirked as I look at my _soon-to-be queen_; she was slightly panting, her lips were apart a little. Yup, she's going to be my queen. She glared at me.

_Feisty, I like it._

"Gosh, your lips look so delicious." I admitted as I saw her vain popped out.

"**SHANAROOO! PIERCED BASTARD!"** She kneed me at my manhood. I groaned in agony. Holy shit, she's _that_ strong. I was rolling, covering my injured manhood. But I smirked, it was so worth it. Sakura gave me her last death glare as she started to beat the crap of the intruders.

_Strong._

_ Beautiful._

_ And._

_ Feisty._ I grinned as I got up and started to fight. But I can't help noticing, a death glare at my back. I turned around and saw my partner in crime, who was very livid, Madara Uchiha.

* * *

><p>Queen Sapphire: A little PeinSaku.<p>

Okay, I picked Madara at the next chapter. Tell me which one of them will be paired, for a little _Sakura_ time. Okay? AND don't forget to…

LIKE IT? REVIEW!


	7. I Salute You

Planet of Guys

_Disclaimer applied_

_Madara's P.O.V_

I punched out his head lights out of him.

Pein let go that _infuriating woman_. A woman in battle? Yeah and Kabuto doesn't look like Harry Potter. Women can't be in war! They're easily distracted! How in the world Pein changed his mind? He was all "_I HATE WOMEN AND BLAH BLAH…"_ and now he's all _"Sakura, bear my babies.."_ Did that woman poison him?

"What the f-" I covered his pierced mouth.

I glared at him..the Uchiha way. "We are in a battle and you two are _swapping spits!_" I never liked women. Their needs sickens me, lust always in their mind, their make-up, clothes and bunch of crappy stuff. Ugh! Why they even exist? They are usele-

"SWAPPING SPITS?" God, I've gone deaf. Can she be anymore louder? In many years with women, I have never met this _kind of a woman_. Tch, I hardly call her a woman..besides her body..

I rolled my beautiful eyes not like those Hyuuga eyes! Every Hyuuga eyes are the same damn thing! Though, every Uchiha is like that too but at least it's _colorful!_

"Are you deaf? I said swapping spits. Tsk, women."

Her shoulders were trembling as she curled her hands as fists and her head was low down. _Was she crying? I hate when women cry, they look so pitiful, it's like they need someone can cry on their shoulder! _

I mocked her. "Boo hoo, hoo, here, a tissue." I held an imaginary tissue right in front of her. I turned my back at her, continuing to fight. I hold my sword, ready to fight.

Women will be women. Pitiful, useless, wea-

Then a hard yet _small_ fist launched at my handsome face. The impact was critical, that fist smashed my cheek, that made me go sky high…to a bunch of enemies causing the enemies knock out because of that.

"Hell..augh.." Was it an enemy?

"SERVES YOU RIGHT! CHAAA!" Sakura bellowed as she fights the remaining enemies. _Kick, jab, punch, flip and smack! _It looks like a devil torturing her subordinates. Her aura was intense and her reflexes are _amazing_.

Maybe, I was wrong about women and their different ways. Maybe, they are strong like men…that was a full pack of a punch…and maybe, I should _start loving one..__**right now**__._

Ugh, lying on the ground. It hurts..so much. I can't go up, my body hurts so much. Ugh…damn that girl is strong.

I can feel the light turns into a shadow. A soft hand touches my pair of hands.

"Need a little help?" It was Sakura's voice. I never noticed how beautiful her voice is.

"Yes."

She pulled me halfway. "And?"

I was confused. "And what?"

Sakura let me go suddenly. "Oww.."

"Now, what do we say? _Please?_"

"I'm not gonna say _please to you!_" I hiss like a cat, and then she kicked me at the side. "Fine…._please?"_

She smirked, "please what?"

"_Could you help me..please?"_ I can't believe I'm saying this.

Sakura _finally _pulled me out. I see a red armored guy, an enemy. He is NOT going to hurt _my_ Sakura. I slash his throat with my sword; his dead body was already on flat ground.

"You don't need to protect me, jer-"

I quickly crash my body to hers. Her body is so warm against mine, I smelled her hair, it smells so sweet. I sighed.

"Hmm..ghergsdv.." Sakura blushed. Her cheeks were red, it was cute, that cause my hug even tighter and not just to feel her up. Sakura looks so cute when she's angry.

So, I kissed her.


	8. It involves WHAT?

Planet of Guys

_Disclaimer applied_  
>Q<br>Q

"I hate this mission."

Many people view Sakura Haruno a Tomboy, warrior and a fighter; they say many things but not _this…_

"I _really hate this damn mission_."

"Aww! Sakura-chan looks so cute!"

"Yo, beotch! Wanna hang out?"

After that ambush, King Pein decided to hold a meeting in the _Throne of Gold_; the _Throne of Gold _is where they held battle plans, strategies, statuses, and their training reports, even how selfish, ignorant, arrogant and _stupid_ they are, they still care for their people.

The damages were in their castle, village, people's homes and their farms. The ambush was severe that King Pein was furious enough that he slashes his antiques and his statues.

Naruto and he quoted, "we're fucked up."  
>Q<br>Q

"Shit. That ambush wasn't enough!"

"Sis', we cost a lot of our people!"

"I don't care! Earth is getting stronger with Jupiter!"

"Karin-nee-chan! It's not worth it!"

"Imouto-chan, this is war."

"But…"  
>Q<br>Q

Tsunade, the queen of Earth swore.

"Shit. Shizune get me my scratch cards!"

"Yes, madam."

"I have a feeling Planet Venus is calling war."

Q  
>Q<p>

"Konan, dear are you okay?"

"Husband, I have a feeling that my brother is very _very_ angry, right now."

"Pein?"

"Yes."

"He really needs some anger management classes."

"I have this feeling that he needs _more than that_."

"True…"

Q  
>Q<p>

The great Sakura Haruno entered the _Throne of Gold_. The place was hidden, all the artifacts in their was undamaged by the unknown ambush.

Everyone was there already, she was late.

"Man, and I thought there wasn't anyone who's more late than Kakashi." Suigetsu chuckled.

Sakura rolled her eyes.

She took a seat at the right side, almost at the front, between Jugo and Kabuto. "Let's cut to the chase." Sakura said.

King Pein who was in the middle, "apparently, Planet Venus made a move."

Someone scoffed. "No shit." Following a whack at the head, Kakuzu took a big blow at him.

Sakura did a gesture to continue.

And he did. "The spy I sent confirmed that the Royal crowns of Venus are going to invade Jupiter and Earth. Their weapons achieved to the maximum, their defense is ordinary and their army is basically the entire people in their planet. This means there is a fifty percent chance we could sneak in to stop the war." Pein looked over to his subordinates, they looked worried, frustrated, happy (Hidan loves wars) and neutral (Itachi, Madara, Sasuke, Kimimaro, Haku, Zabuza, Gaara, Shino and you can guess the rest.) "Unfortunately, the spy didn't have enough information, any information that I need to know?"

Someone raise their hand.

"Yes, Nara-san."

The lazy genius yawned. "I heard that Princess Ino tried to stop her sister from launching a war."

"Interesting. How about you, Zetsu? You can blend in and that you visit Venus for your vacation last week."

The bi-polar man grinned. "**Well, we heard that the sisters are going to capture an important person.** No one knows who he or she is but we know that they're gonna capture him or her as a hostage."  
>Q<br>Q

"Hellloooooooooooo! Anybody here? Nii-san is going to be very angry if I'm not there at dinner!"

Purr. "Well, how about us for dinner?"

"Damnit! Nii-san get me outta here!"  
>Q<br>Q

Achoo!

"Madara-san, are you coming a cold?" Sakura questioned.

He rubbed his nose, "I don't know."  
>Q<br>Q

"Karin-nee-chan, what's happening?"

"Hohoho, poor imouto-chan, you should know by now!"

ARGUHHHHHGG!

"What's that nee-chan?"

"Our new defense."

"Then why is it alive?"  
>Q<br>Q

His subordinates were chatting, not listening to him. Pein slammed his fist to the table and growled.

That got their attention.

"Listen to me, you scoundrels! Venus is planning their attack, I do not know when but I just know their planning it. Even they're women-"

Someone shouted, probably Sakura. "HEY!"

Pein chose to ignore that. "Anyway, these sisters are trained by their war chief, their father and these Royal sisters are dangerous, they don't fight but their armies and weapons are well done, way well done. Face the facts; with all their forces they could destroy both planets, Jupiter and Earth."

Naruto stood up from his seat. "You mean…"

"Yes, they're going to be undefeated."

"How…"

"I do not know, but anybody has a suggestion?"

A hand rises.

"I think I do." Sakura's eyes were full of determination.

Somebody snorted.

"Sakura-san, I know you came here to make an alliance with us which you did but this is a man's job." Kakashi Hatake said.

Everybody nodded.

Her eyes darkened. "Oh, really? So is it a man's job to plan an assassination to a traitor whom you trusted? Is it a man's job to kill your own race? Especially, is it a man's job to be _hated by your own family?_ Tell me, you _men_, is it?"

Silence occurred.

"…my apologies." Kakashi apologized with stone guilt.

Pein clear his throat. "Where were we? Oh..Sakura please do tell."

"Uchihas are the supreme because of their eyes right?"

The said family swells with pride while Hyuugas reigned in jealously.

"Their defense is missing, they know that. They may use one of your men into the best defense. Tell me Madara-san who's left behind?"

"That's prosperous! Shisui is at work, the only male Uchiha that is left is my…brother, Izuna." Madara finished with a gulp. "NO! No no no no no! Not my brother! Why him?"

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"And is there that doesn't add more problems?" Pein glared.

Sakura sigh. "It's coming!"

Everyone's ears perked.

"Venus has tons of men and…whores that Ino and Karin made, we could sneak in and persuade some of their men to betray their queen and princess but they stay hidden to slowly persuade their people to betray their Royal girls and over time their own planet betray them."

Itachi Uchiha raises his hand.

"Yes, Itachi-san."

"But their people trust their Royal heirs, they will never betray them." Itachi said in a monotone voice, he researches his enemies, weaknesses, strategies, fighting combos and their people trust.

"Shit." She swore.

Everyone sighed in disappointment; it was good to be true.

"Wait! I have another idea!"

Pein gestured her to go on.

"It'll involves a space ship, disguises and..a phone."  
>Q<br>Q

**I know it's short; I don't want to lose that idea in my head so I typed like hell.**


	9. Working On It

Planet of Guys

_Disclaimer applied _  
><strong>Q<br>Q  
>Q<strong>

"_Hun, I'm glad you called! I miss you so much!" _A velvet voice squealed from Orochimaru's old classic phone.

"Hey…Temari-chan." Sakura nervously said, it's been way long time when she heard Temari's voice since they were at Temari's bar _Spring Break party._ The _Spring Break party was __**wild, outrageous, and God-knows what happened.**_ That's the problem, they had no idea what happened in the party, Sakura just know that they were in the middle of _Truth or Dare_ and it was all blurry when she drank her who-knows-how-many beer bottle. But, the hangover was _shit_, even the place looks like _shit, _everyone were lying on the ground, some of the guys were still holding beer bottles, mess-up sex hair, clothes and many unholy stuff. She woke up and she saw that can make any boy faint with a massive nose-bleed, _she was in her undergarments that Temari gave her at Valentine's Day._

Yeah, it's just undergarments, yeah. But the thing she hates the undergarment is _Temari is a hostess and the owner of the bar which is a host/hostess bar_. You, don't think that's bad? Temari loves sexy things, when you wear them, you look _like a stripper_. She just prays that Temari didn't take a picture.

"_So, what'd ya need, dawling?" _She giggled.

"I need that…_present_ you gave in my birthday."

"_Why so soon, honey?"_ Sakura can feel Temari's smirk.

"Just send me it to Planet Jupiter, King Pein's castle and you know the rest."

Then a soft _"oohh"_ rang from the phone, _"Jupiter? The place where my two little brothers lives there and all the handsome guys there too, you're there? Man, Sakura, you flirt." _

"Just send me that damn disgusting present of yours." She growled.

Temari sigh. _"Toot…toot..don't be hostile to your sister-figure slash best friend, and I'm fine if you date one of my little brothers, I support you the whole way!" _Temari heard a growl from the phone, _"fine, fine, Hun. I miss you, good luck with your mission! There's a client here who's been begging to be with me, he's cute. Bye Saku-chan!"_

"Bye." She put down the phone and sighed. "I never thought that Temari's present will help me someday and it's not the right time, considering this is full of hormonal guys in this planet." Sakura talk to herself.

"Sakura-san?"

"I hate this planet…" She kept on mumbling. "Hey, Subaku-san, long time no see, I'm sorry that I didn't notice you when you were in the room."

"Don't…." He mumbled the last part.

"What?"

"I said don't…."

"Subaku-san, you really need some talking classes."

"I said don't call me Subaku-san, it's my dad's name, not mine." He spoke.

"Then stop calling me Sakura-san, we know each other well enough, stop the formalities." She said.

"Deal…Sakura."

Nod. "Gaara."  
><strong>Q<br>Q  
>Q<strong>

"Itachi are you brooding again?"

"Hn."

"Oops! Forgive me."

Itachi Uchiha _never _took notice a person. He never speaks up in the meeting, he just let them find out but why did he stood up and spoke? Was it because it was serious? Or _her?_ It's very unusual, when he spoke, he looked in to her viridian eyes then all of sudden he was in a spiral of captivation, her eyes were full of determination, hope and her _killer intent. _Why was this only woman…made his heartbeat oddly faster than normal? Was this _love?_  
><strong>Q<br>Q  
>Q<strong>

Neji Hyuuga hates being bossed around, he usually be the one who's giving orders not taking them, especially by a _woman._

"Neji-san, have you got the laser blaster 1.2 from Kabuto-san?" Sakura said, politely.

He grumbled. "Yes."

The laser blaster 1.2 was the latest of _Weapon Weekly_. The laser blaster looks like an airplane engine but it does not make you fly but it gives your space craft an unbelievable stamina, stability and of course, killing your enemies with lasers. It was the size of a regular couch.

"Thanks, Neji-san."

The long-haired man just grumbled. He carried heavy weapon on his back from the castle to where Leaf X is. They were rebuilding Leaf X in the inside because it has small room, they need to expand it.

He gave the heavy weapon to Sakura. _She can't hold that…I'll let her suffer a bit_. He sures know if he can't carry it, no one will.

Oh, how little does he know.

"Thanks, again!" She chirped like a bird.

"You're welcome, Sakura-san." He smirked, waiting her to suffer from carrying it.

Thus, she didn't.

Neji Hyuuga drops his jaw on the ground. Sakura grabbed it over her shoulder; she just grabbed it like it was nothing.

Sakura had special training with Tsunade when she was four years old, normal guardian never let their child involves with violence, _but c'mon this is Tsunade we're talking about. _Tsunade always leaves for work every day causing so little time with Sakura. She was so worried that she stopped drinking Sake for a _week_ that was a brutal week for the Earth's Queen. Tsunade had a vacation for a month, so she decided to stop being a worry wart and just spend time with Sakura, she kept on thinking, what if this is my last time to spend time Sakura. Then the twenty-four seven training occurred.

Tsunade made her fought brawls in the _Undergrounds_, a fighting arena where people place bets on their fighter.

The Queen left her alone with many kinds of wild animals like cheetahs, tigers, lions, bears, crocodiles and such.

When Tsunade was tired from the training, she left Sakura alone in the wild for a week. When she saw Sakura, she had a bear fur around her neck, wolf's teeth and her homemade weapons. That's when Sakura cried because she thought she lost Tsunade.

Talk about tough love.

**Q  
>Q<br>Q**

"Dobe."

"Teme."

"Dobe."

"Teme."

"Do-"

"WILL YOU TWO JUST SHUT UP, YEAH?" The blonde terrorist exploded like his clay bird. "This is why Sakura-chan ditched us."

"I think that blonde transvestite is right." The cool Sasuke Uchiha said.

"Finally, you understand-HEY! I'M NOT A TRANVESTITE! YEAH!" roared the bomber. He just wants to meet the pink-haired vixen and to know more about her. Yet, the man upstairs chose him to be with these two bozos. "It's useless to talk with you two, yeah." He wanders around the garden, where they were, they were getting herbs, food and medicine for the trip.

Naruto got the herbs, since he's good at it, Sasuke got the food, it was suppose to be Naruto, but before they start, that kid was picking ingredients for ramen and no one wants ramen for the whole damn trip, it was either Sasuke the ice cube or Naruto the hyper ramen loving? Ice cube. Deidara was in charge of medicine, since he's with Sasori, the poison and antidote expert, it's probably easy.

Naruto was holding two small tree branches over his head, to make him look like a horned monster. "Hey, look Teme! I am Narunater, hear me ROAR! Hehehehe!"

Deidara sobbing quietly, "I just want to meet that beautiful pink-haired vixen."  
><strong>Q<br>Q  
>Q<strong>

"Konan, dear you okay?

"….."

"Angel? Konan-chan?"

"..Yahiko..I'm fine.."

"Oh gods don't scare me like that! You were lying down on the bed, shivering like hell and you were so pale that can rival Sai's skin. Then you were-"

"Dear, I love you but will you please **shut up**?"

"Geez, fine but are you sure you're okay, 'cause I'll go and get-"

"Summon Sai, here."

"….."

"Yahiko, send Sai, here."

"Did he tell you?"

"What do you mean?"

"…He's going in an S-class solo mission."

"And why are you looks so worry? He's been into S-class solo missions, since Danzou was the ruler of Saturn and that was _years_ ago."

"It's in **Venus**."  
><strong>Q<br>Q  
>Q<strong>

"Karin-nee-chan, where's Uchiha-kun?"

"In his place."

"And where would that be?"

"As our perfect defense."

"Why is he being our perfect defense?"

"With his Uchiha eyes, Madara-sama's blood, and his _special_ power we could be unstoppable."

"But, Nee-chan, what's his special power? Isn't it the Sharigan?"

"That is classified; Imouto-chan but I could give you a hint."

"Hmm?"

"It involves his** emotions**."**  
>Q<br>Q  
>Q<strong>

"I won..I won.."

"Yes, Queen, you finally won in these scratch cards!"

"**Shit**."

"Hmm?"

"What is it Shizune?"

"That's weird; Jiraiya-sama sent you a letter."

"ReallY? Let me read it!"

_Tsunade, do you still have those big breasts that you seduced me with?_

_ Yours Truly, Jiraiya_

"Queen, so what does it sa-AAYYY! QUEEN DON'T USE THE ROCKET LAUNCHER! DO NOT TARGET A ROCKET TO JIRAIYA'S HOME! QUEEEEEENNNNNNN!"

"We've been apart for how many damn years? 3 years! And he sent me his first letter in a disgusting way?" **  
>Q<br>Q  
>Q<strong>

"So how's your letter?"

"It's fine, Oro-chan."

"Really? Did you ace it?"

"_Definitely._" **  
>Q<br>Q  
>Q <strong>

**I'm very sorry if some of you guys don't understand why Izuna is to be the defense, you need to wait for the incoming chapters and you'll know why.**

**Like it? Review!**


	10. Blast Off With A Hint Of Killing Intent

Planet of Guys

_Disclaimer applied_**  
>Q<br>Q  
>Q<strong>

"Our engine is active."

"The fuel is full."

"The emergency materials are all there."

"Oh and Sakura-chan, we have the package!"

"_Oh, joy."_

The space ship was done. It was aerodynamic, the larger the wings are the better. The capacity inside was enough for everyone.

The package that Temari sent her was there. It was wrapped with red velvet ribbon, and there was an elegant writing on the box.

_To: Sakura Haruno_

_I hope you enjoy it~~~_

_Give me a picture of you in this!_

"The hell I will."

_You'd probably said "The hell I will." So, take a picture or else._

"Or else what?"

_The spring break party. Truth or Dare and Undergarments._

_Yes, I'm blackmailing you._

_Ciao~~ _

_Temari, your sexy friend_

"Oh, hell no."

The almighty Kyuubi was curious with the message on the box. What was it? Nah! Must be a girly message! Not serious. Those, what his mind says to him, but tell that to the mere human girl over there. The pink faerie punched through a brick wall with anger surround around her and grumbling something about, "that sly hostess" and "I swore there was no one there". What the hell meant?

"**Girl, could I see the package?"** Kyuubi asked with the curiosity in his voice. **"I am curious."** Well, curiosity killed the cat, right? Well, he's not a cat; he's the powerful fox demon. There's a difference…right?

"No." She said flat out.

"**What'cha doin', pinkie?"** Shukaku popped out.

"This demon is harassing me."

"**What? No, I am just asking you to let me see the package please."** His patience was almost done.

"_Bite me_."  
><strong>Q<br>Q  
>Q<strong>

"Did you hear that?"

"What do you hear, Haku?"

"I think it was..a baby squirrel squealing in pain."

"Haku, you and your nature friends."

"Zabuza, maybe I was hallucinating."

"Yeah, since that pinkie came here."

"She maybe captured my…never mind."

"And she captured others' too."

**Q  
>Q<br>Q**

"_I can't believe you __**fucking**__ bit me."_

"**You asked for it."**

"How do you not know it was an expression?"

Kyuubi took a minute to think of an answer. "I know it was an expression, it's just that.."

"Just what?"

"I want to taste you!"

"_What?" _Her guard was off.

Then he snatched it. The package in his hands was very peculiar. After those dreadful learning training, he mastered to read very fast and memorized them perfectly, he read the whole encyclopedia in a half hour, he just flipped all the pages.It was too easy he could this message in seconds.

After few seconds, "just what are you doing?" She tried to get it but he put it up to his height and he was damn tall. 7 a half feet 10 inches and she's what? She's just 5 feet 5 inches. God, she's so short. Sakura tried jump to get it but he put it up higher.

"**What does she meant Truth or Dare? And what does undergarments includes here?"**

She blushed furiously and he loves it. "Just keep it a secret."

He glances at the box and at her, repeat. Box, her, box, her, box, her-you get the process. **"Fine, if you tell me what this message meant!"** He huffed.

"**Hello, I'm still here."** The ignored Shukaku said. They still ignore him, he was like air.

"Fine…" She grumbled as she whispered the whole story in his right ear  
><strong>Q<br>Q  
>Q<strong>

_Woof!_

"What's wrong Akamaru?"

_Woof! Woof!_

"That a fox and a faerie will be…"

_Woof! Woof! Woof!_

"Will be in a bad situation?"

_Woof!_

Shakes head. "What did Dr. Kabuto fed you these days?"  
><strong>Q<br>Q  
>Q<strong>

"**Wow." **Kyuubi is flabbergasted that the whole story happened to her. He controls his alcohol in many different parties that have actual women. Thanks for his control of his alcohol that in the next morning he will not sleep with a _disgusting_ woman. **"Pinkie, you really should control your alcohol more often."**

"Shut up." She blushed.

"**Pinkie can't handle a drink?"** Shukaku applied.

"**Yes, Idiot."** Kyuubi said with an insult to Shukaku. This is always their routine, insult towards each other, talk, brawls, insults, brawls, insults, insults and surprisingly they're still best friends.

"**Hey, I just applied it! And you insult me? How dare you!"**

Then they became bickering old ladies who are fighting for tapioca.

Sakura sighed; massaging her temples, god, this mission is killing her. The men in here are obnoxious snobby, ungrateful, infuriating, and she could list them in a whole book. "_Men…_"

"Pinkie! What up with the call with your friend from Earth? You were gossiping like the idiotic girls you were!" Kisame who popped out like Shukaku did. What's with people in here popping out of nowhere? Are they part of _Whack of a Mole_ game or something?

The rest of the Akatsuki is here, they seemed to ask the same question too.

She jumped a little. "O-of course not! It's part of the plan, it maybe sounds silly but this package is very important to our plan." She pointed the package with red velvet ribbon wrapped around.

"So? That's not sound silly. Every single time this bastard." Kisame pointed to Hidan who yelled out curses, swears and words that are sacred. "Always online shopping for weapons and they were in packages like yours. We always use those weapons because they are important, one time he ordered a stupidly cute stuff toy, and we laughed until the stuff toy had one pair of machine guns."

The Akatsuki's faces that say _'Oh, yeah! I remember that shit!'_

"So, what ever in that package can't be that silly your view, we have many sillier packages than yours." Kisame barked.

Sakura shakes her head. "No, the silly part is my mind is yelling, _'this is hell! I'm not gonna wear that piece of shit for just a mission!' _Trust me if you know Temari, you would know."

Those words were imprinted in the Akatsuki's minds.

Everyone else was there for the meeting. The meeting includes their battle plans; the meeting in the castle was in for cleaning because Naruto's _little_ slip up. He spilled a dozen of ramen on the floor, the walls and the table.

Someone cleared his throat; Pein's piercing voice captured everyone's ears. "Well, we need some people who will stay back, in case there's an ambush attack. Every one of you is perfect for it, who will volunteer?"

One hand rises.

"Jiraiya? I am surprised; you know there's a lot of hookers, strippers, prostitutes and easy girls there, right?" Pein said with a hint of amusement.

The pervert is sobbing loudly, "really, Pein? Why you must applied the best attraction in Venus? Why? You know I have a lover! And Tsunade will kill me!"

"You have no idea." Sakura grumbled.

"Sakura-chan, don't tell on me, again!" He begged, "or else I will pinch your cheeks to death." He pinches her cheeks as he stretches it.

"I wilf if you keef on doivng yourv perverted thingsv." She hardly pronounces her sentence because he keeps on pinching her cheeks.

So she pinches that old pervert cheeks as payback, she pinches like he did with both hands. Sakura and Jiraiya cried a little because of the pain in their cheeks but when someone pinch it harder the other one pinch it more painful. They keep doing the same process. They look like children who are fighting for a toy.

Pein watched them. "Wait, you know each other?"

They look at him with tears in their eyes, and then she smacked him at the head while she rubbed her cheeks. "Well this pervert keeps Tsunade '_busy'_." She said with a shed of disgust. "I swear there's nothing more I hate is that filthy Akuma but you two succeed by doing your making love."

"I remember Akuma! How is he? Are you two's love life is finally good?" He said unaware Sakura's fist clenched.

"_Do not talk about that son of a bitch_." Her eyes turned stone cold; her piercing gaze can make anybody cry with fear. Her eyes could tell all, sadness, anger, killing intent and fear.

The cold silence was strangling everyone's throats.

"Anyways," Pein broke the silence. "Any more volunteers?"

"I will assist you." Orochimaru said. "Because that perv-idiot can't be alive for one second when the ambush started because he will read his disgusting porn books the whole time." He pointed the so-called perv-idiot.

"Great the two great masters are a perfect combination but we need two more."

No one raised their hands.

"Sweet heart, do not worry any longer!" The sweet velvet voice rang through Sakura, Kankuro and Gaara's ears.

"_Oh hell no."_ They all said as the shivers went through their backs.

She was there with all her glory. Her four spiky blonde pig-tails was recognizable, her blue-green mix eyes sparkled with determination, her lips were painted with a beautiful scarlet color, her ears was pierced with big silver hoops, her ruby necklace was shiny and her revealing outfit was a long velvet silky dress with a V almost down to her breast, her left leg was showing with pride and her dress was backless. She scampered around with her red hot heels.

"Huns, we are here! Me and my posse are here!" She said with a striking pose, she made her finger a peace hands then she put it sideways on her left eye and her right eye was closed as she stuck her tongue out.

Her posse was her clients, powerful clients. They have strong biceps and they have been working out to impress 'Lady Temari'. When she did the pose, they did the power rangers pose.

"And you are?" Pein asked as he watched them weirdly.

She gasped and her posse gasped too. "Why my little brothers and my sweet Sakura didn't tell you?" Temari did a dramatic fall. "Why Sakura, Kankuro and Gaara? Why?" Then a spotlight shone her as she did another dramatic pose, "Why you never tell him that I am your awesome older sister, Gaara, Kankuro?", and her men anime-cried, "and Sakura why you never tell them your sexy best friend?"

"Neh, we never tell them because you are like that." Sakura, Kankuro and Gaara said with the sweat-drops each one of them

Pein sighed. "Anyways, are you good at fights or weapons?"

"Of course! One time I kicked Kankuro and Gaara's ass to Mars because they were _naughty_."

Snickers and giggles came.

"Any weapons?"

"This fan." She pointed the regular sized fan with three purple circles.

"And what does it do?"

Hidan whispered but everyone heard it. "She's gonna fan them to death!" He snorted. Hidan really needs his mouth shut.

"This fan is my specialty." Then all of a sudden it transformed into huge fan that is size of a human and the width of two men. "And in each side there's snakes venom needles that can kill in seconds." She swings it around that causes sharp wind slices. The trees around them sliced into pieces and the ground chopped like huge brownies. "You know I could fan you to death." She said to Hidan who pee his pants.

"Great but we need one more member."

"JIRAIYA! WHAT'S WITH THE LETTER YOU SENT ME?" It was like an angry mama bear who found her babies was in danger.

"Tsunade-chan…hehehe….it was just a prank?" He tried to have an excuse.

"Why you little perv!" She then did a sucker punch to him, in Earth's doctors they would say, he was most likely dead but the old man was still alive.

"Greetings, my majesty." Sakura bowed in respect.

"Good day. I would like to be a volunteer."

Pein chuckled a bit who was very amused with her entrance, now he knows where Sakura's fury came from. "You're the Queen?"

"Yeah, got the problem there, buster?" She glared.

Pein backed away a little bit. "No, no, of course not." He doesn't want to anger her because what happened to Jiraiya. "Since you already showed your weapons, your fists and your power exceeds most of my men, you are in."

"Wait, Queen who is in charge?" Sakura asked with worry in her eyes.

"Shizune."

"Is she okay with you coming here?"

"Wwweeellllll."  
><strong>Q<br>Q  
>Q<strong>

"Queen! Where are you?"

She found a little note that said to her.

_Shizune, I'm gonna help my god-daughter and I'm gonna punch Jiraiya to Mars, again._

_Yours truly, Tsunade_

Shizune sighed, then that means she's in charged.

"Everything fine, Shizune-sama?" Hayate asked, he was the lead guard and the leader of the Earth's men.

"Get me one machine gun with six dozen bullets with it."

"Why?"

"To get ready for the war."

**Q  
>Q<br>Q**

"Okay, we are ready for takeoff." Tsunade said from the control room.

"**Yes we are but who the hell is **the pilot?" Zetsu asked. The plant man was curious who is it, Hidan and Kakuzu was great at piloting except they kept on bickering.

"I am." Sakura said with boredom in her eyes.

"**You can fly a damn space ship,** Flower?" He kept on looking in her viridian eyes that made him want to kiss it all day with love.

"Of course, you know why Hidan and Kakuzu's space ship was damaged?"

"**Why** is that?" He dares to ask.

"Because that was just a fucking lucky shot, right, Kazu?" Hidan grumbled as he sits down on his seat.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "Do not include me into this nonsense." Why his seat is beside with this foul-mouth albino masochist?

"Hn."

"WHY AM I SITS BESIDES WITH THIS TEME?"

"Kisame, stop eating my dango, you're being foolish. Your seat is beside, don't be so disgusting."

"Sorry, but your cooking last night tastes like shit and I'm still hungry."

"Zabuza, I see our seats are besides each other."

"I see, Haku."

"Pein, why do I need to sit right beside, puppet boy, un?"

"That's what I want tell him, blonde transvestite."

"Tobi is a good boy, Tobi is a good boy! Right, Suigetsu?"

"Will you shut up? I want to drink my water in peace!"

"Kimimaro, I can't wait for this trip."

"Jugo…are you coming down a fever?"

"Kankuro, stop playing with your dolls!"

" Gaara, I will stop when you stop playing with your sand!"

"Kabuto-san you are very good with your medical work, how is it?

"Thank you for the compliment, Neji-san, it's great to work of my dream job."

"Shino! Ack…your bugs keeps on….bugging me!"

"….Kiba, your dog keeps on licking my feet, make it stop."

"So troublesome, thank gods that I'm gonna use the empty seat beside me as a bed."

"Kakashi, stop having a nose bleed if there is an explicit scene in your trash book."

"Madara, how dare you call this trash? It's like every man's dream to be laid."

"**Shukaku, you pig, that is my bag of gummy bears!"**

"**It's mine! I got it first! Kyuubi no baka!"**

Pein sighed, how he ever leaded these men as killing machines, thank gods he doesn't have a partner beside him. He really likes to have Yahiko and Konan in their group again; sadly, they can't because they are married, honey moons, safety and that useless stuff. "I hate love."

Sakura who was on the front seat for pilots only and after hearing those imbeciles arguing, she just wants to crash the space ship to make them shut up. She heard Pein, she looked back with her goggles on for pilots and head gear. "Welcome to the club."

Pein widen his ringed eyes.

"Engines are fine, Sakura. The warm up is done, everything is fine. The only thing is missing is to put them their seat belts." Tsunade applied from the control room.

"EVERYBODY PUT ON YOUR DAMN SEAT BELTS!" Sakura yelled who was gripping the wheel and looking the front.

Then they argued.

"HELL NO, BITCH!"

"IT'S MY LIFE, YOU CAN'T CONTROLL ME!"

"SEAT BELTS ARE FOR PUSSIES!"

"FUCK TO THE NO, SHE-MA-"

Her patience is done, it was out. **"DO IT OR THOSE WHO'LL ARGUES WITH ME WILL FACE THE CONCEQUENCES!"**

_I'm glad you're back Inner, how's your vacation?_

**Fabulous.**

"I LIKE PAIN! YOU CAN'T FUCKING KILL ME! I'M IMMORTAL, BEOTCH!"

"**I WILL RIP OFF THE PART OF YOUR BODY THAT'LL MAKE BABIES."**

That shut up everyone.

_Click._

_Click._

_Click._

Ah, the sound of putting on seat belts and the sweet silence. Now this is heaven.

"**Tsunade, the passengers of Leaf X.2 are ready,** ahem. I am sorry Queen but Inner is back."

"Hi Inner, you still a flirt? Anyways, Countdown to 10."

_10_

"Everybody has their disguises?" She asks them, their plan will be flawless.

_9_

They raise their disguises.

_8_

"Do you have your disguise, Sakura?" Pein asked.

_6_

"Sadly, yes." She begrudgingly grumbled with a hint of killing intent for a certain blonde hostess.

_5_

"Anyone who needs to go to the bathroom, do not worry we have a bathroom right across the hall, just don't make it smell like shit of shitopia with the side of shitty crap of all crapiness. Got it?" She said sternly.

_4_

They all nodded.

_3_

"Good."

_2_

Silence over took. She gripped her wheel, her feet are ready to step on the power, and her whole body was ready. She was born _ready._ No one can stop her from doing what she likes. No one can hold her down nor tame her. _No one ever will._

_1_

"Hold tight!" Sakura yelled over. She stepped on the power, gripped her wheel, and pressed buttons to be able have enough speed, lift and overcome gravity. She grinned, that malice grin was determined with everything. "Revenge, bitch."

_Blast off!_  
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**I am glad that my reviews are 46 but I really appreciate if it's 50. I am sorry if I ask too much. **

**God, my neck is killing me.**

**LIKE IT? REVIEW!**


	11. Plus The Computer

Planet of Guys

_Disclaimer applied_**  
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"Who did it?" Sakura shrieked. The smell was killing her lungs and her other senses. She sprayed _febreze_ before they launch, it smelled a lot better than the stink she smelled. The _febreze_ made the ship smelled likeapple and cinnamon, now it was dog's shit.

The guys back there were awake now because of the shriek and they were confused as hell. After some moments later, they smelled it.

"What the hell is that?" Madara yelled in a nasal voice. He covered his nose, the smell was terribly disgusting.

"Didn't I tell you to NOT stink up the damn place?" Sakura bellowed over them as she pressed a button on the touch screen. "Computer." She grabbed a steel bat.

"_Yes, Sakura-san?"_

She unbuckled her seatbelt and took off her head gear. "Take over for me." Sakura stand up and started walking to the bathroom. There are two rows, the seats in each rows was two by two, and there is a gap between the rows, so they have a way.

"I hate this mission." She moaned.  
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Sakura begins her way to the bathroom, it seems a short way but to Sakura it was gonna be a _long_ way down because of the men in here and the worst of all was they were all _perverts._

She was walking to the bathroom as she stared at the guys, one by one. So, if someone looked at her in a sexual way, she's going to punch him back to Jupiter. Sakura was at the front row, she was staring at Pein who has his eyes closed while he crossed his arms. Sakura did a goofy face at Pein, she had no idea he was still awake. She stuck her tongue out and pinched her cheeks.

"Stop staring at me." Pein opened his right eye and glared at her with it. She was staring at him with those _eyes_. Those taunting eyes, it haunts him every night and he likes it. Sakura was staring only him, _him!_ He would give any part of his body for her to look at him.

Sakura blushed. "Sorry, I thought you were asleep."

"...Just don't make any noise." _So, I could hear only your beautiful voice._

She nodded, happily. "Ay, ay, King." Sakura saluted, playfully. She grinned when Pein smiled at that and that disappear when he returns to his peaceful slumber.  
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"Sakura, why are you carrying a bat?" She turned back, surprised. Haku and Zabuza was the least perverted guys here, or so she thought. They were looking at her as if she was a piece of meat but they hid it very well.

Haku smiled like an angel he is; little did she know that he was holding his urges to ravish her on the floor, while Zabuza stared at her, _stared_. He was like looking her through her soul, but he was just ogling her D-cups.

"Just in case." She answered quickly and she turned back around and continued her journey to the bathroom but she could feel heated stares at behind her, or her Inner says from **at** **her ass.  
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Kiba, Kankuro and Suigetsu wolf whistled as she walks to the bathroom. They were telling her some ridiculous pick-up lines.

Kankuro grins. "Don't worry! Your other half is here!"

Gaara rolled his eyes but he kept his eyes on the pink-beauty.

"I have never had a dream come true until the day I met you." Kiba flirted shamelessly.

Shino stayed silent, playing his bugs. His eyes averted his eyes on her.

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together." Suigetsu winked at her.

Tobi laughed, childishly. "Even, Tobi knows that those pick-up lines are hopeless. Pretty Sakura-chan, I would be a good boy if you kiss me!"

She giggled like a little school girl, Sakura passed by them. "…Imbeciles." She muttered and sighed. She was still at the first row area.  
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The two artists were arguing, again, about some of their views about art. Sakura prayed that she keep on bickering but alas, it's too good to be true. The two of them kept on bickering but as she walk pass by they noticed her.

"Hey, Sakura-chan, yeah!" The blonde grinned.

"..Hm, Sakura." Sasori waved, nonchalantly. His hazel eyes bored into her viridian eyes in amusement.

The pinkette looked at them, suspiciously. They just bickered like an old married couple and all of a sudden they just turned into little angels. _Men._

Suddenly Deidara snatched her metal bat which she was holding. Deidara scanned it for a while, his eyes averted at the top to the bottom.

"Why are you carrying a bat, yeah?" Deidara questioned.

"To hit the guy in the bathroom to a bloody pulp." A vein popped out on her forehead. She really hates that disgusting smell coming from the bathroom.

Sasori chuckled a bit and he snatched the bat from Deidara as he identifies it, he averted his cold hazel eyes to her warm viridian eyes. "Tsk, tsk, tsk, such violence from a beautiful doll like you."

Sakura's cheeks were red. "I am not beautiful, I'm just average." She scoffed.

"Don't be modest, you are beautiful, yeah!" Deidara grinned. He placed a peck on her right cheek. Her skin was soft, warm and delicate, he loves it. The terrorist loves whekn she blushes, it was just adorable. He knows that Sasori was envying him; Deidara was rubbing it on him.

"Aaw, look at her, isn't she looks so cute when she blushes, yeah?" He pinched her cheeks.

Sasori smacked his back of his head. He admits he was jealous that his blonde idiot of a partner placed his disgusting lips on _his_ doll. "Don't touch my doll.." He growled as he grabbed her head on his hard chiseled chest. Sasori nibbling and licking her ear, he looked at the angry Deidara and he smirked at him.

"Oh, God." She rolled her eyes, she snatched her bat back and smacked at the two artists. "I am no property." She huffed and continuing her journey to the bathroom.  
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She was almost at the middle area. The two true gentlemen in this ship were Jugo and Kimimaro, they were there sitting on their assigned seats.

"Hello, Ms. Sakura." Jugo greeted.

"Greetings, Sakura-san." Kimimaro welcomed her.

This is what true gentlemen are. Sakura sighed in relief, that they are not those other perverts. Well, she hopes so.

She nodded. "Hello, Jugo-san and Kimimaro-san."

Their eyes bored on her. The two best friends may be are gentlemen but that doesn't stop their hormones on rage, they're men. Hormones are such a _bitch_.

Kimimaro gripped his sexual needs on tight, when she walked in the room, the way her hair bounce so beautifully, the way her eyes only looked at him and the way she said those words with her succulent lips were so…tempting.

"_Kimimaro-kun…I love you."_

If he's dream last night was making him blushing, madly then the way she said his name was making his insides all..Mushy and his stomach have butterflies flying all around.

Jugo is aware of his best friend's _little_ problem. Jugo views Sakura a fine _damn_ lady, she's very professional when it comes about the mission, she's kind when she wants to, she's calm when it's a serious problem and she's quite a rebel. Her looks are quite adorably deceiving but her actions can hurt like hell. Talk about judging a book by its cover. That's Jugo's ideal woman and so is every one's, Jugo would even accept if she offer him to be her fake-boyfriend or fiancée.

The problem with Jugo is very loyal to Kimimaro and their friendship, well there's a saying, _"Bros before hoes."_ Sakura is not a hoe. He'll keep his feeling of a certain pinkette away from his white-haired best friend, but he knows that he needs to tell him soon.

"See ya." The pinkette's voice rang through their ears.

They exhaled air out; they did not know they were holding their breath. She's such a beauty that can take any man's breaths away.

"Aw, good Lord." Kimimaro groaned as Jugo stared at him with worry in his eyes.**  
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" Neji-san, help them. Please refrain from yourself hurting Sasuke and you, Naruto."

"THIS TEME TRIED TO MURDER ME IN MY SLEEP!"

"…Dobe, are you brain-dead?"

"Kabuto-san, it's futile to council them both."

Sakura groaned in annoyance. They had to be Naruto and Sasuke, thank Lord, she still have her metal bat just in case they do something wrong or _very wrong._ "What is going on?"

"SAKURA-CHAN! ITS TEME'S FAULT!" Naruto the roaring orange dinosaur bellowed.

"…You are really brain-dead." Sasuke the cold-ass turd with a 10 meters stick up to his ass muttered.

"Sakura-san, these two bozos are each other's throat, again." Neji the quiet soulless boy grumbled.

"Ms. Sakura, I tried to stop them." Kabuto the oh-so poker-face doctor said.

She had to ask. "Naruto, I'll give you ramen if you stop pestering Uchiha-san." She pointed at Naruto, she points at Sasuke. "Uchiha, don't man-slaughter your…colleague over here."

"What's in it for me?"

"I don't know, since you are very distant to me, you can choose whatever you like." She said.

The Uchiha thought for a moment. "Call me my first name, I am aware of your formalities, I respect that but I just want you to call me without formalities." He grumbled

"Okay…Sasuke." Sakura raised one of her brows as she heard him a little moan from him. "As for you two." She narrowed her eyes to Kabuto and Neji. "Thanks for trying to shut them up." She bowed.

Kabuto held her hand and kneeled. "It's our pleasure, my dear." He kissed her back of her hand.

"Kabuto, if you are not letting me go in 5 seconds, we are going to have a problem." Sakura narrowed her eyes and her voice has a tint of murdering him in his sleep with a spork.

He chuckled. "So cute and yet so intimating." He said and let her go as the others nodded in agreement.

"I am just average." She went back to her journey then she heard faint voices over there area.

"SAKURA-CHAN, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL IN MY EYES!"

"…What the Dobe said but in cooler way."

"…She's cute, right, Neji-san?"

"I say she's very stunning."  
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The stench was getting stronger, it's very close. She can feel it!

"So troublesome..Sup, Sakura." The lazy genius yawned.

"Shikamaru, if you keep on yawning, your mouth will be so big that it could fit a basket ball!" Sakura exclaimed.

"That's crazy talk." He chuckled. She's very cute when she's worried about his lack of sleep, she babbled like a mother hen worries about her son but that's not mutual to Shikamaru views her. She's his Queen to his King, she's his dip to his chips, she's his water to his flower and-_you get the process._

"Remember to have an efficient sleep, Shikamaru or I'll pound you so hard that you can't say anything. See ya." She glared at him.

"Yeah, yeah." He said. She walked away. "You'll be a perfect wife.." He grumbled as he closes his droopy eyes. "For me..."  
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"It's a plane! It's a bird! No, it's pinkie!" Kisame hollered.

"Hn?" Itachi widen his eyes as he turned around to see a certain pink-beauty.

Sakura looked around but as she heard the word 'pinkie' her eyes narrowed at the blue-gilled shark that called her in an insulting manner. "Hello, future shark-fin soup."

Kisame snorted. "God, you are so puny, I mean look at you!" He roared in laughter as for Sakura, she fumed. Then he places a kiss on her forehead, her face explode with tint of red blush on her cheeks.

Itachi stared at them in jealously because of their close relationship. His eyes flared up, his mouth turned into a sneer, clenches his teeth, his brows furrowed and his heart was slightly break one by one. How dare he? How dare that blue-shark flirts with his little flower?

"What are you two doing?" Itachi growled. "This mission is supposedly being professional, not in flirting manner. How very disappointing."

"Woah, Itachi, cool down, bro." Kisame said.

"Kisame, I'll handle this." Sakura stepped up and did a gesture to Kisame to not involve to this. So, he back down.

Itachi sat down on his assigned seat and he grumbles some nonsense darkly. He looked like the saddest and the angriest king in his throne.

Sakura sighed. "Tell me, Itachi. What is wrong?"

"….."

She sighed again, Uchihas are so stubborn. "I'll revise that last sentence. Why are you acting like a priss with a huge painful hangover?" She looked at him and held his hand.

"…..It's unfair."

Sakura was surprised that he answered. "What is unfair?"

"It's unfair because the first rule of Jupiter is not to get too attached with the client but Kisame and the others are breaking the rule. I just follow the rules…."

"Itachi, I think you need to relax, you keep on following the rules like you are a robot. Live a little."

"So you are saying is to break some rules?"

"Rules are meant to be broken."

That sentence made him startled a little. His gaze bored on her beautiful face, how he adored her succulent pink kissable lips, how he wants to bruise those lips. "So, if I do something, it'll be okay, right?"

His gaze on her made her blushed madly. "I-if it's not wrong, its fine, ItachIhmnndf!"

He held her head on his chest and hugged her as he closes his eyes. Her touch was enough..for now. Her cute little head smelled like strawberries, her warmth feels so great when it's against his.

"Itachi Uchiha, let me go, NOW!" She growled on his chiseled chest.

He hummed in disapproval. "You said its okay and this is not wrong…_it feels very right_."

"Please, let me go."

"For what?"

"What the hell you mean? For what? Maybe, for not murdering you, if you let me go I'll spare your life.." She growled.

Itachi place a light peck on her lips. He longs for that and it felt so blissful. It was a slow peck and that was the most excellent minute of his entire life and he lets her go. "Thanks for that wonderful kiss."

She blushed, madly as she fumed and her ears were coming out of steam. She stomped out the room and then she pushed Kisame when he walked in.

"What's her problem?"

He chuckled."…Charming.."

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Then there's the final area.

"Love, why are you so red?"

"Maybe, she needs to _work_ on her sexual needs."

"Hatake, you utterly disgust me but I hope so.._for me_, my love?"

"Great two perverts in the way!"

He purred. "Love, you are so adorable when you are mad."

"I will yell rape, if you keep on flirting with me."

"Then if you do, the guys will either kill Madara for raping you or they will be happy seeing you naked...not I would complain."

"Hatake, you really disgust me, greatly."

"AUGH! I am going!"

Then she left.

"Great job, Hatake."

"Hey, don't go pointing fingers at me! You are the one who keeps on flirting her, shamelessly!"  
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"**I smell something so…delicious. **I do too."

"Zetsu, that maybe your hunger."

"**No, it's not.** Yeah, even I smell it, and I'm at least the calm and normal one."

"Zetsu, Kakuzu! Hello!"

"**That explains now.** Still smells so delicious."

"Where's that albino potty-mouth man-child?"

"**In where we don't go anymore, **forever amen."

"Then that means? Kakuzu could you give me some details?"

"…The bathroom."

Then something cracked.

"THAT SON OF A BITCH! GET OUTTA HERE, YOU COWARD AND FACE ME LIKE A FUCKING MAN!"

"Yo, what's up, bitch!"

"OH THAT'S IT!" She pounced at him; she did a roundhouse kick with a powerful right hook and rapidly diving punches. Sakura pounded him until his soul was leaving out of his mouth. She hits him rapidly with her cold hard metal bat very hard. "WHY DID YOU STINK UP THE DAMN BATHROOM, YOU MAN-CHILD! WHEN I SPECIFICALLY SAID THAT DO NOT STINK IT UP LIKE SHIT OF SHITOPIA WITH A SIDE OF SHITTY CRAP OF ALL CRAPINESS! CAN'T YOU GET THOSE SIMPLE WORDS THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL?" She roared as she tries to rip his body parts and his skin off then she punched me through the final area to the first area.

Everyone was looking at the albino-man's lifeless body on the floor with a pool of blood on the floor. His mouth was opened as they saw a chibi Hidan soul was leaving out of his mouth.

"**WOAH! KYUUBI, GET THE DAMN MOTHERFUCKING BROOM!" **Shukaku yelled over as the other guys remember the time that Hidan's soul was leaving its body, kinda like this one. They tried many things to put the damned soul in its rightful owner because the soul was kept on swearing and being annoying twice as much the real Hidan, they were fine Hidan being dead but the soul was too much. The broom was the only thing that worked.

"**Yeah, yeah."** He grabbed the broom and started to swat the soul into the rightful owner of that menace. **"Get back here, you little rascal!"** He yelled and it looked like the game of _Whack the Mole_.

"I know what to do." She and the Kyuubi held it together and used a powerful impact to put the soul in the body. The broom was all wet in saliva because it was in the mouth, they kept on plunging it. Up, down, up, down and-_the process is repeated._

Sakura was the one kept on using stronger force than Kyuubi. She kept on muttering. _"Die, you man child, I hope you go to hell with your Jashin-sama. Die, die, god-dammit!"_

"UGH! Ha..ha..ha….what the fuck happened?"

Thus the wild-goose chase began.

"_Sakura, we are almost at the planet Venus. Sakura? Sakura?"_

Then screams were heard with a fit of swears and X-rated words, that may be belonged the albino-man or the others when Hidan started to tear her clothes that shows enough skin that all the guys there have nosebleeds, red-faces and pervert thoughts but alas, Sakura started to noticed it and that made everyone pee their pants _plus _the computer.  
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**I just want a fun chapter before the great mission begins.**


	12. Fashion Fiasco

Planet of Guys

_Disclaimer applied_

_And the fashion brands are not mine. (Besides I don't really like shopping that much.)  
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_Kanzashi_:_ Kanzashi is a traditional Japanese form of hair decoration._

**Note: The fashion brands are slanted but I put an original name besides it, so no one will kill me. The clothes that I slanted are real, they are not made up, if you don't believe me. Look it up.  
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"Ms. Sakura, we are all ready." The oh-so polite Jugo said while he stares at the different forms, colors, and fashion which all the boys wore. Their attires were different, they wear what they like. Jugo was wearing a white expensive tux, black charcoal tie; a white hat with black stripe around it that covered his sparkling tangerine hair, one pair of fancy black leather shoes and the final accessory was a long, slender black cane. Jugo dressed up as a gentleman.

He looked at the boys, nonchalant. They were talking some nonsense, fighting over a small thing, arguing a debate and god knows what.

Hidan was sitting on a huge boulder, looking bored, playing with his scythe. He got several scratches from it, but he's Hidan, he likes pain and doesn't give a shit about it. "C'mon, bitch! We have no time of your crappy make-up!" The foul-mouth yelled over at the space ship.

They were all outside because they're done changing their disguises while the only female on board was yelling to have her privacy and no peeping.

"Nara, why the hell did you dress like a shitty slob?" Hidan yelled at the addressed male. "My costume is way better than your fucking disguise!" He grinned, the albino-man wore an over-sized long dark robe that reach down to his feet, the length of his sleeves were crossing the line of his hands, it was very over-sized, he put his over-sized hood up and he's holding his most-prized possession three-bladed scythe. He is the Grim reaper also known as Death.

The male like sloth woken up after Hidan's potty-mouth, he yawned as his eyes have a small amount of tears. Shikamaru dressed like a hobo, his maroon shredded t-shirt was all dirty and lumpy, his torn-up denim jeans were stained, wet and has many holes all around it, except his private areas. He wore a green patch-upped hat, his fingers were covered by dusty finger-less gloves, his puke-green boots were all stitched and his polka-dot bag that tied up with a stick. "Augh…I don't want too much effort in my disguise. It's so troublesome, unlike that blonde idiot over there." He pointed at Deidara.

"Hey! My disguise is not that fancy-shmancy!" He yelled. The blonde artist was dressed up as a normal-looking guy but he failed miserly because of his handsome features. You can never be average when you are good looking. Deidara dyed temporally dark indigo highlights on his fringes, wore long torn-up denim light blue pants with chains attached on his black custom made leather belt that has skulls all around. His upper body was covered with scarlet long-sleeved shirt that has one huge cartoon made bomb. The blonde-terrorist wore one of Earth's fashion wear, he wore a black and red checkered converse sneakers. "How is this.." He pointed at himself. "Fancy?"

"Not you, behind you." Deidara moved a bit and saw a hyper whiskered-boy who was very jolly.

"Uzumaki? How is that fancy? He dressed up as a _damn ramen bowl_!"

It was true; the bowl was white but has a red strap around it. The inside of the bowl was of course ramen, pork, noodles, leaks and what else you put in ramen. The bowl was up to his neck and head accessory was a top to cover up the ramen so it will be still warm.

"He's wearing a _gold_ ramen bowl."

"Is that a problem?" Pein popped out nowhere. He wore a black tuxedo, black leather shoes like Jugo, a black bow tie and he has a black classy hat. He looked like James Bond.

"N-nuh-uh…" Deidara stuttered. Pein turned around and Deidara grumbled. "I hate rich people."

"Akamaru, how ya like my cowboy get-up?" Kiba said in a western accent. The dog woofed happily that was not needed a costume. Kiba was wearing like a modern cow boy, chocolate brown boots, black baggy pants, loose belt, white buttoned-up shirt, brown gloves, scarf around his neck and like all cow boys has, a cow boy hat.

"Itachi, you look like someone in _Men in Black_." Kisame grunted out, well he looked like woodcutter. He was wearing slacks and a stain white shirt. His combat boots were chipped and his Samehada was disguised as a huge axe.

The addressed Uchiha stayed silent. He did look like one; you need a suit with a tie, leather shoes and black sunglasses. "Kakuzu, why are counting money at this time?"

The greedy man ignored him and continued counting his precious money. Kakuzu's attire was a sergeant, a dark green uniform with many badges on them, combat boots, dark green gloves, a dark green cap with a badge on.

Sasori was really bored, Sakura was taking her time. His black top hat flopped on the ground; his black long tailor suit was made of the most expensive silk, for his savings, he wore dark tap-dancing shoes and he wore white gloves. "I wish she's done already…" He sighed.

"**Akasuna, why are you sulking?** _Don't say that, he's just maybe…hmm…hungry?"_ The white-side of Zetsu ended, lamely. The cannibal looks like a bartender; he's wearing a black vest, a black bow tie, rolled up white sleeves, black pants, and black polished leather shoes. Zetsu's green hair is slicked back like Hidan's. "**What in the seven hells are ya? **_Don't be rude!"_

Sasori took out his magic wand and twirls it in boredom. "Isn't it obvious?"

The man-eater shrugs. **"A magician, eh? I thought you will be puppeteer or a ventriloquist. **_Have you seen Tobi, Sasori?" _

The red-headed man huffed and pointed at the west.

Tobi was wearing a black bishop robe with golden buttons and a golden cross across his neck. He's holding a red bible.

"**He is a BISHOP? I thought he will be something…immature. **Yeah, me too."

A raspy voice butts in their conversation, and then he sipped his water bottle. "I second that."

"**Where's your disguise? **_You look the same to me, Suigetsu."_

It was true he's still wearing his purple shirt, his big-ass sword and his black ninja pants that he loves so much. "Wait-here it is!" He grabbed a blue tuna fish mask, the tuna's mouth is puckered and its wide neutral eyes were damn creepy. The mask has a free feature, its tail. He then put it at his back of his head. "Huh? Huh? Perfect right?"

Zetsu stared at him for a moment; the white-side face palmed and shook his head while the black-side just stared at him. The next words that were coming from Kuro (the black side and it means black) made Shiro (the white side and it means white) want to rip himself apart from his other half with his own _bare_ _hands_.

"**Who are you? Where's the midget sharky?" **

Shiro fucking face-palmed. _"Oh, fuck me!"_

"**But this guy looks…edible."**

"…_This makes me wonder if I'm really you."  
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"Shino and Kankuro, you two will stay with me to watch after the ship."

"What?! I wanna go with Saku-chan! Please, Kakashi!"

"….I agree Hatake-san, my bugs will be injure if I am in the field with all those violent people."

"N-no! I wanna be with Saku-chan and besides how are we gonna look after the ship with the perverted Kakashi Hatake, he'll be just reading his book!"

"Hey, you know what they say, the more you read, the more you learn."

"…"

"…Hatake-san, this conversation is dismissed…"  
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**THACK!**

**THACK!**

"Come on, Haku, it looks good on you."

**THACK!**

**THACK!**

"Will you stop smashing your head at the tree constantly? The poor tree has endured enough from your killing head-butts."

**THACK!**

Haku stops hitting the tree with his head, his forehead were dirty and bruised, it'll need a couple of band-aids, but for the tree, well it looks it needs more than a _miracle_ to be regain to its former image. Haku's brown eyes glare at his older brother, Zabuza who plastered a nervous smile on his face. Haku is stomping to where Zabuza is standing. Haku grabbed his collar.

"You try wearing a frickin' **PINK **kimono with this sickening make-up!"

It was true; he was wearing a beautiful light pink kimono with little scarlet flowers at the end of the kimono with a black obi (means sash) tied up beautifully at the end, white stretch tabi socks with brown wooden sandals and his long treasured dark brown hair was tied up into a bun with a pretty black kanzashi_(1) _that has small white flowers hanging on top. _He_ looks so beautiful even from afar he looks like a beautiful traditional woman; no one will suspect him as a man.

"And these medium water balloons stuffed in my chest, my bra and this panty are annoying! I have never been humiliated in my life! I have been stripped off my manhood! Why did I let you choose the disguise I'll wear? And where the hell did you get this thing, anyways?"

"….I was expecting you as a girl, so I bought those clothes for when you'll grow up….."

Haku face-palmed.

"You do realize that you don't need to wear the panties, right? I mean you could just put shorts under it."

Haku stared at the well dressed man for a moment.

Zabuza was wearing a kimono for men; it was plain dark green and wore brown wooden sandals. It was plain and cheap. It was comfortable too.

Anyways, Haku stared at him another long moment, turns around and walking towards the tree that is besides the badly damaged tree that he head-butted.

"Uh, Haku?"

Haku did not answer but stared the tree in front of him. The long deadly silence landed on them. Zabuza could hear the leaves bristling, the wind whistling and the animals in the forest, chirping, roaring, squawking, squeaking and others.

The silence was chocking Zabuza.

**THACK! THACK! THACK! THACK!**

Haku is smashing his head rapidly at the tree like the other tree but this time Haku smashes his head harder and much faster.

**THACK! THACK! THACK! THACK! THACK! THA-**

"Haku, your head is bleeding! Stop injuring your head, damnit!"  
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Sometimes rivals are a good thing to fuel energy to beat your arch enemy/ies , so you could be the best of the best, they'll worship you and respect you. You could have higher grades, great sportsmanship and conquer anything, but _this _is ridiculous.

"Hyuuga."

"Uchiha."

"You look…awfully disgusting."

"Speak for yourself, I mean come on! That _shirt_ with those _shoes?"_

"This is_ Superlative Luxury_: Call in newest and latest designer clothes, this is the most expensive shirt, this is $400, 000. It has a distinctive spherical pattern with two sets of different diamonds, eight of them are white diamonds and the other half are black diamonds, they are extremely hard to find because is so rare. This cost more than you."

"Well, this is _Gucci _0.2'sfantastic _chiaro(brown) leather zip front bomber with web knit trim_ and these black _Converse _Techno shoes with the ability to fly, has 6k diamonds on are making you're disgusting eye filled in envy. My outfit cost more than your whole family."

"So? This _Dussault apparel's trashed denim jean_ have beautiful 1-carat rubies, twenty-six .05-carat rubies, eight .05-carat diamonds and 1080 of white or rose gold on itself and you have just 6k diamonds? That's just sad, so sad."

"….This is not over, yet."

"Even my blue _Nike_: Conquer shoes has better comeback."

"You know what, Uchiha? Fuck you."

Fashion Face-off: Sasuke Uchiha VS. Neji Hyuuga, never thought they will have a battle in fashion. Uchiha wins by having so much dough, but seriously this is _absolutely_ ridiculous.**  
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"Kabuto-san, this is not the right time to…_dissecting _a fellow villager."

The medic smiles, but his eyes still on the villager who was scared shitless at Kabuto's tweezers, needles, various kinds of scalpels, drill and the others that are still in the bag, but god knows what inside in that bag of….weapons.

"But Kimimaro-san, it's always a right time to…explore your enemy's insides." He put on plastic gloves and his surgical mask. Kabuto wore a plain scrubs uniform, white tennis shoes, and a surgeon cap. He carries a bag full of surgical instruments.

The said-man sighs and shook his head. They were just off the ship, walking around but not too far away from the ship, tying his shoe laces and after 3 seconds, the ash-grey haired man beside him was already having a last minute surgery.

"P-please don't hurt me!" The man that was having an un-needed surgery pleaded. In Venus, mostly everybody is an abomination. Well, this dude is a human half caterpillar. He has the human figure but he has green skin, 1 set of antennas and he's fat. His fingers are pincers and his mouth are like that too but it spits out either puke or acid.

Kimimaro looks at the caterpillar-man. He took out his police badge out of his pocket, the shiny badge opens at the back, it has a mirror on it and he moved it up and down at the abomination. It releases a green light at him, it was scanning him.

"A-are you one of Venus' P-police Force?" He sputtered.

The white-haired man was dressed as a police man; he got a dark blue police hat, dark navy blue uniform with a fake badge on and black leather shoes. He took off his white gloves to hold the badge which was still scanning the green dude then the green light turns red.

Kimimaro glared at the man on the ground, icily. He put his white gloves on and returned the badge on his right pocket.

"Kabuto-san, continue your exploration."

Then a blood-curling scream was echoing in the forest.  
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"_Aww, darling, you look exquisite!"_ Temari squealed. Sakura and Temari video chat in the ship, since she sent her these clothes, why not hearing her opinions but Sakura was very embarrassed and very unsure if she will do it for her mission or not wearing it for the sake of her _dignity_.

"I don't know about this, Tem."

Temari grins. _"Don't think but feel it that you're sexayyyy!" _She gave Sakura a thumbs-up and hoots at the last part. The sandy blonde gave her a goofy smile. _"But, you really need to cut your hair short?"_ Temari implied. It's just a mission; she doesn't need to sacrifice her long hair. _"But, your new hair-cut made that outfit even more sexylicious!"_

Sakura's hair is short, the hair-style starts choppy short at the back then longer strands towards the front, ends at the neck, and she let her forehead show. It was soft and neatly combed.

"_Hun, don't be embarrassed of your body!"_

The pinkette face-palmed. "No, that's not the problem here."

"_Then what is it?"_

She pointed at her black up bust corset, at the chest area it was black and at the stomach area it was red and black vertical stripes. Sakura wore plain black short shorts, it was wrapped around with various belts for style; it shows her creamy milk legs that are covered with black stockings and garters. The stockings have lace on top of it and she wore black leather 6"high-heel boots, it's up to the knee.

"_What about it?"_

Sakura face-palmed with her black velvet and lace fingerless gloves, it has black satin ribbon wrapped around like an 'X' up to the half of her arm. It has long black lace at the end, it was about 1 meter.

"This is why I don't let you send any gifts for my birthday, I was afraid that any your stuff will be _any_ _use_."

"_Sweetie, since when you have a lip piercing?"_

Sakura is confuse, she raise her brow. "The hell do you mean? I don't have any piercing attached my lip, I have a belly piercing and a tongue piercing, that's al-"

"_Haah?!"_ Temari smile twitches, a couple of veins just popped out on her forehead. She twitches her eyebrows and her smile. _"You never told me about your piercings...Sakuuurraaaa." _She purred her name, venomously. _"I thought friends don't hide secrets from their friends. Sakkuuurrraaa…Would you tell me about…your piercings?"_

"Umm..uh…I love you..?"**  
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**This is fun, typing my fanfics in summer...life well spent. I hope you like it as much I do. This chapter is fun. Don't worry, I am still going on the story, I just need a little time to figure how I will set it.**

LIKE IT? REVIEW!


	13. A Riot Into To A Disaster

Planet of Guys

_Disclaimer applied_**  
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"….Hot damn…"

**SMACK!**

Hidan's face has a big red slap on his face as he groan in pain on the ground. Apparently, Sakura decided to finally showed up, everybody was in shock….or arouse if you are a hormonal male which her comrades are mostly are, well then you have no idea how many dirty thoughts in each male's head.

The pinkette's green vivid eyes darted at them, maliciously. Why Planet Venus did have the most brothels, stripper joints and all of their sex-related jobs? _Karin and Ino stoop so low, making women's jobs as men's toys! This is utterly disgusting that I need to look like a whore or some kind of slut, so no one can suspect us. Well, after I saw my male comrades wore, I think we are already screwed._

**But the bright side is…**

_What?_

**WE LOOK SO DAMN HOT! I mean men will weep, kissing our feet and falling over heels at us!**

…

…**Outer?**

…_.I can't even look at you right now._

The King clears his throat to grab everyone's attention; his neck is red and his ears too. It almost-like a blush since Sakura showed them her _delicious _outfit. He resisted his urge to abduct his 'soon-to-be-Queen' to where nobody will find her and him. "E-everyone, we have succeed to land on the Planet Venus but Sakura, you did not tell us your plan." He rested his eyes on the pink-haired temptress.

"I didn't? I thought I did…"

Tobi butted in and chirps. "FAIRY-CHAN SAID THAT WE GRAB DIGUISES AND PREPARE A SHIP!" He yelled as loud as he can be. The others cringed and nodded in agreement.

Sakura mentally face-palmed for not telling her plans, she's so forgetful sometimes. "Well it's like my other plan I shared all of you yesterday but it was back-fired because the new information that Itachi gave to me. This is plan involves disguises as you can see that Kabuto….dissected this creature," she avoids to seeing the creatures and points with her thumbs the caterpillar man that Kabuto dragged in and attempted to put it in the ship, he says he wanted it as a souvenir.

"God, that is just disgusting…."

"Eeww..he's sputtering out slime."

"Kabuto-san, did you cut off the arm and attached it at his eyes?"

"I think Orochmaru has been with him a little too much."

Sakura whistles to get their attention from the limping experiment to her. "Anyways, Venus loves visitors from another planets, dimensions, stars or galaxies. Venus signed up for immigrants in their own planet, so everyone looks just fine to blend in the crowd…except for Naruto." She sighs.

Everybody looks at the ramen-bowl.

"WHAT? MY OUTFIT IS JUST FINE! I COULD BLEND IN!"

"Really? Then people in here must out of their minds to not steal a huge **gold** fucking ramen bowl." She retorted sarcastically_. "_I mean who wouldn't steal a huge **gold** ramen bowl?" She added.

"See? No one will suspect us!"

She stared at the cheery blonde for a second.

One minute has passed. She picked up a rock and looks at it, her eyes sparked in interest. She averted her eyes at the blonde and threw the rock with full force, aiming at the head.

"Sakura-chaAANNN! OW! OWIE! IT HURTS!"

She aimed it, perfectly."So, to make my point already, we blend in, get close to any whom Karin and Ino trust to get any useful information, slowly we kill any people that are part in the plan, we steal their most dangerous weapons, then we kidnap the royal heiresses. Are we-"

"You forgot that we save my little brother.." Madara murmurs.

Sakura glances at the older Uchiha with sympathy in her eyes, she knows that feeling he held, she experienced it and she can't forget those hating eyes glaring at her. "Me and you will take care of that as for the rest of you, follow the plan and I will not tolerate any mishaps, mistakes or any failure in the mission, are we clear?"

They nodded.

"Naruto, spread mud on your bowl and find a ramen restaurant or something that involves in ramen and just act like a statue of a ramen bowl." Sakura points at the mud that is right beside the ship and Kabuto.

He nodded, he ran then he made a belly-flop at the mud as he squealing and rolling on the mud like a pig. Everybody sweat-dropped as they witnessed the scene in front of them, after he was done his shiny bowl became a disgusting unwashed dish.

"Good enough." Sakura signals them to follow her. "The path entering Venus is right there!" She bolted in the forest, the forest looks like from a horror movie because its leaves-less trees, glowing animals' eyes in bushes, holes in the trees and at the trees.

"Umm, this forest looks a little scary.." Deidara swallowed and walking glacially towards Sakura who is still running to the entrance of Venus, she either being oblivious or she's just being reckless."

Hidan was beside him and he was walking like him too. "HA! Barbie is scared! _She_ is fucking scared of this forest!" Hidan laughs with a tear on his eye. "Jashin, you are such a pansy." Hidan smirked.

Deidara held his middle-finger at him and stomped on his foot that made Hidan on the ground as the feminine guy keep on walking. He grumbles while enjoying the moans of agony where it came from Hidan. The blonde looks back and he had a smug look on his face.

That smug made Hidan wants to crush his skull. He picks himself up, he charges and then head-butted Deidara's back.

"Oh hell no…" Deidara gritted out, he tackled him to the ground and Hidan throws him where Sakura's going, the Deidara throws him and Hidan tackles him, the process is repeated until Deidara was thrown at Kisame whose back hurts.

The blue shark growls, he pick up the scared Deidara then throw him at Hidan but the albino man ducked, so Kakazu got hit at the face by the blonde's body. Kakazu is angry as hell; he kicks the blonde like a soccer ball to Hidan but he ducked again then the body of the blonde went flying to Itachi, he ducks and not even looking back, he sensed it. Deidara crashed at a very familiar red-head, Gaara.

Then a huge riot began, Gaara summoned his quick sands all around them. Naruto yelled like a little girl that Sasuke really despises so he whacks his heads then Pein smacks Sasuke's head for hurting his little brother's head. Madara saw the little smacking domino-effect.

Madara smacks Pein's head.

"OW!"

Everybody joins in, they made a big fight but they were moving towards Sakura by accident. She was standing on top of a cliff.

"Hey, I see IIITTTT!" She yelped out as she fell down. They keep on moving towards her then they accidently pushes her.

"SAKURA!" They bellowed. They looked down the cliff with their hands grabbing the edge of the cliff. There were no sign of her down there; they see no sign of any of her bright pink hair or her falling body.

"SAKURA! WHERE ARE YOU?!" Some of them (Deidara, Naruto, Tobi, Kiba, Hidan and Kimimaro) were already tearing up and the others, their hearts were already breaking and clenching.

No sign of her. No sign of her cute, beautiful face, her amazing smiles, her bubbly yet tsundere attitude and her hot-temper that everyone loves and fear of.**  
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**My head is full of Junior High thoughts, I am sorry that I almost forget about Fanfiction. I think you need to wait for the next update a 'little' long.**


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